My easter break

bismillah

TODAY (as off noon)
Made a routine house call today.  Mama asked the usual: "How's everything?" and the usual response would be, "ok..." I wasn't quite sure what to tell her. I think everything's good, I don't think there's any complaints.  And she said something that just made realise how arrogant I am, she reminded me.."Alhamdulillah..apa-apa pun: Alhamdulillah.  Kalau elok pun Alhamdulillah. Kalau tak pun Alhamdulillah juga".  senyap kejap.
Allah, sometimes ppl can be so self absorbed and forget to thank you. and I know one person for sure. -_-;

Last week she reminded me, "Angah buat solat dhuha tak? Baca lagi tak ma'thurat?" em..without knowing it, she's checking my mutabaah amal.
USRAH-TI.. And it makes me realise again & again how important a family instutition is.  Ah, I need to contact them anak-anak and asking how they're doing. -_-;


YESTERDAY
Came back from Zamir's house for bacaan Yasin.  I think it's very noble of him to organise the sessions & gather everyone together.  Rasa la juga hidup bermasyarakat Bristol. hehe although there are a few things that can be improvised, (boys can sit in front & girls at the back or somesort). but nevertheless it's a very good effort.

I'm not sure if I made someone hurt yesterday.  I hope she wasn't hurt because of me.  Hm..I wonder if I have some sort of disorder that makes me lacks empathy.  Oh dear, may Allah forgive us.

POINTS to ponder:
1) Share your failures and life experience with others
2) Bersangka baik dengan Allah & manusia - which is quite hard..but not impossible..BUT I guess being cautious is another thing. which I suck at doing.
3) Don't feel that Allah owes you anything but you Allah everything.



TWO Days ago: 
Our humble home played host to Ust Muhaimin and UG of Cardiff & Bristol and PG.  At first I thought it was going to be a small gathering.  But Alhamdulillah many came (with Allah's mercy).  And it made me feel so happy.  And the fact that Ustaz doakan tuan rumah.  Moga Allah redha.  Along asked how I felt, and I told her, "I'm very happy because our house could be of a small benefit." Feeling that ada juga gunanya nikmat Allah ni utk dakwah.  I hope this feeling would remain.

Okay, back to ustaz's talk, we did a very open (umum) session and there were so many interesting points from ustaz.  Some of which I remember since I didn't bring down my book for the talk:

1. "Kalau tak mampu buat semua, jangan pula tinggalkan semua"
2. Sensitivity terhdp ayat Allah.  Sahabat sgt sensitive dgn Qur'an.  cerita tentang sahabat yg mmg born with suara kuat. Bila turun ayat tentang larangan meninggikan suara depan Rasulullah, shbt tu  pula yg terasa & tak datang masjid dah. Although sbnrnya ditujukan kpd org lain.  I think maybe ustaz ada repeat a few points tentang AQ drp Spring Camp.  but I didn't go, so Allah bawa SC kat kita..I think it's such a blessing.
3. Qur'an sbg mukjizat & panduan. Rasulullah dikenali sbg seorg yang berakhlak mulia drp hidupnya oleh penduduk Makkah regardless oleh org kafir atau Muslim. tp tiada perubahan pun yg berlaku oleh penduduk Makkah.  Bila turun AQ baru lah berlaku perubahan. Dalam surah inna a'thoina Allah kata mlm lailatul qadr tu lebih baik drp 1000 bulan kan.  Jd kalau kita hidup 1000 tahun pun tanpa AQ tu tak bermakna langsung. Nak kata betapa hebatnya kesan AQ dalam hidup.
4.  Ustaz ckp juga psl hakikat manusia dan ruh.  Katanya yg berkekalan adalah ruh kita (tbhg kpd akal, nafsu dan hati).  Dan jasad kita tu tak kekal.  Jasad kita yg dulu dah hilang.  Contohnya cell2 yg kita waktu lahir semua dah destroyed.  even RBC kita pun bertukar ganti setiap 120 hari.  Jdnya sgt penting kita menjaga ruh kita dan membersihkannya sbb itulah yg akan dihadapkan kpd Allah di akhirat kelak.
5.  Hakikat ruh yg baik boleh ditinggikan kpd hampir sama dgn darjat malaikat & ruh yg buruk darjatnya direndahkan kpd darjat haiwan. cth: Hadith 2, bila mana malaikat dtg kpd Rasulullah & sahabat bertanya tentang Iman, Islam & Ihsan. ketika tu agaknya tahap iman mereka dah sama dgn malaikat.

Points to ponder:
1. Refleksi sejauh mana AQ tu dijadikan panduan hidup.
2. Haruslah menyucikan ruh & memberi makannya. Mutabaah amal.


THREE Days ago: 
Went to London to renew passport which is almost expiring. Ate at Malaysian Hall, noodle oodle. and went to see Wicked at Apollo theatre.  I think Wicked has a lot of morals in it and very unpredictable exciting and wonderful show.  Menarik juga kalau dapat berdakwah through arts kan. :)

Interesting points:
1. The value of friendship
2. The value of ilmu
3. Keburukan zina
4. Importance of perserverance in life
5. Importance of loving animals

It was more enjoyable because we went as a bunch (nad, hani, farihin, mus & ain) and dpt naik megabus double decker. hihi

As the rest of the days:
Study group & kemas rumah & etc.

So today marks the end of our one weekish Easter break.  Alhamdulillah for giving us this opportunity.  Hopefully this will help us to become better servants to You in one way or the other.

General points to myself:
1) Perlu lebih menghormati masa
2) Perlu lebih memahami perasaan orang
3) Relaksla..jgn jd imposing sgt..give alternatives..
4) Do things in small chunks from now..

Penatla type panjang2, bye, salam
-nad

My love note 2.0

lately ni rasa 24 jam tu sngt la singkat..masyaAllah..

dada terasa sesak, emosi terasa lemah, iman terasa goyah..Allah..

ujian demi ujian datang menjengah..sedikit pada diriku tetapi yang besar-besar pada sahabat-sahabat sekelilingku..

dalam kesempitan masa, kasih sayang, hak kawan, hak badan, hak pelajaran terasa ada yang terkorban..Allah..Astaghfirullahaladzim..moga Allah memandu hari-hari ku & memberi petunjuk dalam setiap keputusanku..

sememangnya kelemahan yg besar pada diri ini..

dan lebih pilu bila terasa tidak mampu menjadi sahabat yg meminjamkan telinga & bahu yang teguh kepada mereka..

akhirnya apa yang mampu adalah menyerahkan segalanya pada Allah, utk memelihara mereka..
oh Allah, please take care of my dear seniors..kak Aliyyah, kak Fardia, kak Farah, 'kak' Yaya & Nabun..wherever they are..

dan mungkin yang sepatutnya adalah menyerahkan semua urusan kita pada Allah di awal, pertengahan dan di akhirnya di samping berusaha sebaiknya..mungkin itu tarbiyyah yg tersembunyi utk diriku..kerana sememangnya manusia mempunyai limitasinya..

oh Allah, make us your slaves who are grateful to You and always think good of You. Amin..provide us strength to endure this journey with peace..oh Allah, indeed You are All knowing and only you know best..

i love you all.

my love note,
nad

of a weird learning point

salam..

juma'ah mubarakah everyone!

a bit of a weird rant today..

after being smacked in the face a couple of times this week..(figuratively) i am now in the world of not really giving a hoot of what ppl might think..because I have given some time to consider it, analyse it, thought through it and ended up with some sort of plan..therefore, all the emotions are thus unnecessary atm..

thing is, I am in great despair, and partly it was because I felt I couldn't live up to one's expectations..which is a very very heavy and dis-pleasuring feeling if you've ever felt it before..

and I know that living your life for anyone humanly related is not the way to go..since Allah should be our reason..therefore, after dissecting and doing some deep reflections, it has been made clear that I am actually disappointed in myself not because of being a loser in pleasing other people, but the fact that I haven't carried out or tunaikan hak-hak orang di sekeliling dengan sebaiknya..

and because of this so found revelation, I feel liberated..because time and time again, only you know what you are dealing with and of course Allah knows it better..and only you know what your capability is and if you haven't fulfilled the responsibility as should..i guess what's important is just keep moving on..whether time is on your side or not, be it rain or fall..until you develop a thick skin..for the cause of Allah..

and just a reminder for myself with a goldfish memory, "proactive is the total opposite of reactive" - remember, remember, remember..therefore, begone with all the whispers..

anyway, this is not intended to shoot anyone in the head..it's a learning point for us all or maybe just for myself O_o

anyway, talk to you soon..

wslm,  

nahdiya mj

back to back

oh dear, may Allah help me through this..please pray for me..ameen

of a broken heart

bismillah..

urm..this weekend has been a bit funny..
yesterday we went to Forest of Dean and had a wonderful day mashaAllah....cycling for 3 hours finished off by a picnic....I loved it mashaAllah, the outdoor and riding the bicycle part....going gaga over Allah's creation....was such a nice break from the brick walls and hustle bustle of Bristol city..

Alhamdulillah twas a great adventure...it would have been nicer if there was some pengisian of something..just some time to ponder on Allah's creation more..

but anyway, that's not the part of where my heart got broken..
so we rented a mini bus to bring us back and from the Forest of Dean, and on the way back, the bus driver stopped  at Tesco's for toilet breaks....me, yaya, ain & anis stayed in when everyone else went for the loo..it was around 6.30pm at the time and past maghrib, so yaya asked me if I would want to read ma'thurat with her...and I said yeah sure.  Then suddenly ain & anis sat next to us and said they want to join us as well..it made my glass heart break....comelnya budak2 kecik ni..

it was the same feeling when we recited ma'thurat in the car otw back from DTS.

so many people want Islam, it felt great and sort of inspiring..
 
and today..I told my darling fffy, i wouldn't be their naqibah anymore..and my glass heart broke again for the second time..seriously felt like crying, love them to bits..

i pray this is for the best insyaAllah..and may they find orang2 soleh wherever they go and may they always be guided by You, and keep being close to You and always do good and keep their hearts pure and stay good people insyaAllah amin.

from them, I learnt loads. how to be strong, always inspired to do good in whatever way or form, and about being human.

May good things happen to them insyaAllah.

so if you haven't actually figured it out, my dark dusty hard glass heart got broken by good things insyaAllah....
hopefully the light will shine through easier after the glass wall is broken..

ok, enough with the touchy mouchy lovey dovey...ah~ perasaan la perasaan..ok, takpe kjp je nnt ok balik..human's have resilience you know, that's what we've been taught as medics..

here's some pictures from yesterday,

baiklah, sekian melaporkan, ^^
bye bye i love you..
nahdiya mj