of a nightmare

assalamualaikum.. hi.. 

its me.. 

i woke up this morning with a nightmare.. the dream was about a certain someone.. 

i woke up and it made me cry.. i went to take a hot shower.. cried while in the shower.. and performed my prayers.. 

i thought i was already okay.. i suppose i'm heading there.. in the medical field, when u've lost someone to a disease or passed away.. they say its normal to hv 6 weeks of bereavement.. i'll try to aim for less.. since that someone is still alive.. just that probably gone from my life.. 

i kept thinking why was i so easily cheated.. blinded.. i thought it was real.. but it wasnt.. 

i'm never one that shows my vulnerability unless u r someone i trust.. there's a handful of people i would trust my life with.. u were going to be one.. i was going to tell u that .. but u crushed my heart.. and so easily u did it.. giving me an answer.. which my only option was to walk away.. 

they say once u've experienced a heartbreak or heartache.. u would try to prevent others from having to experience the same hurt and pain.. at least that's what i try to practice.. i couldn't understand why u din't do the same.. 

i suppose my previous entry for the grammar thing was actually a low blow to that someone.. probably i was still bitter and still hurt.. i apologise

anyway, Alhamdulillah.. i feel a lot better now.. tq dear blog for being there since 2008.. we've aged well together 😂 and tq for being loyal.. traits that r honestly so hard to find now 😏

just as Allah brought Nabi Musa and his followers out of their dead end.. i pray Allah will help me the same way.. inshaAllah

please pray for me whoever u are

yours 

nahdiya

p/s waiting for subuh

sometimes i do still miss u.. myb the thought of u.. but not the u that played me like a fiddle