of fleeting thoughts

sitting in this dull room, one's mind just can't help but wonder somewhere else..

was reading Syeikhuna al-Banna's view on economy and politics and suddenly seems that my horizons are a bit too narrow to begin with..

and suddenly in need of an escapism which i love. JOM travel.  problem is..where? and when? i know this is not the cure to what is happening in the world right now, but it can't hurt can it?

 

Alhamdulillah, had an enjoyable day out with the community midwife. myb that's why i need to escape the clutches of the hospital ground and all things associated with it. 

sry, if i have been boring u too death with my petty thoughts, just needed an outlet to let all this madness run loose. ;) oh yeah, and remind me to call mama soon, last week she ws away for some seminar.

yours truly,
nmj

of two people

it's been a while since we talked, 

it's been a while since we spent hours shopping, 

it's been a while since we had a private tete-a-tete in the car, 

while satisfying our craving for burger jampi at night.  

i miss you. 

i don't know where you get your composed, calm self. 

sometimes i think its from abah. but at times i feel u are more like mama.

or maybe because you are a female? i don't know. but it helped. 

and i'm happy for your wonderful family. 

because they are a part of me as well. 

i pray everything will turn out well. insyaAllah, have faith in Allah and keep praying that He will guide you and give what's best. 

please don't get freaked out by this. :p hehe.

i do still love you, cos you're my only older sister :)

of a gloomy October weather

it wouldn't be valued if it wasn't difficult to get. -moi

yesterday i made a routine house call.  mama was telling me that a friend at her office has started a new business, selling cheap overseas stuff at local prices.  She was describing passionately the type of stuff her friend was selling, 'Baju-baju yg mcm awk pakai dulu, bukan yg skrg ni, yg macam dulu-dulu..yg mcm yanky yanky...' without any prejudice or judgement, she went on to the end of the story and how the business can bring some extra cash.  haha in my heart, i knew exactly what she means. coz i still have the clothes in my closet, i just don't wear them now, or (maybe not that often ;p).  Since mama is never the mom that forces things on us, she was never really pleased during my 'yanky yanky' days but she never would force the change.  so when i heard what she said i was laughing inside because of a passing image of just how unpleasant i was but she was just patient. Allah. how our hearts can be easily turned around by You. 

also a Hadith from at-Tobarani which is a Hadith Gharib from Anas, 

Allah Azzawajalla berfirman: "Sesungguhnya ada di kalangan hamba-Ku tidak akan menjadi elok imannya kecuali oleh kemiskinan.  skeiranya Aku limpah ruahkan rezeki kepadanya, dia akan rosak.  sementara ada pula kalangan hamba-Ku tidak akan menjadi elok imannya melainkan oleh kekayaan.  Jika Aku menimpakan kemiskinan kepadany, dia kan rosak.  Ada kalangan hamba-Ku tidak akan menjadi elok imannya kecuali dia sihat.  Jika aku menimpakan penyakit kepadanya, dia akan rosak.  Ada juga kalangan hamba-Ku yang tidak akan menjadi elok imannya melainkan dia sakit.  Jika Aku menjadikan dia sihat, dia akan rosak.  Sesungguhnya ada kalangan hamba-Ku yang berusaha untuk beribadat, namun Aku menhannya agar hatinya tidak diresapi perasaan ujub.  Sesungguhnya Aku mengurus hamba-hambaKu berdasarkan pengetahuan-Ku apa yang terkandung dalam hati mereka.  Sesungguhnya Aku Maha Mengetahui lagi Amat Mendalam Pengetahuan.  (Syarah 50 Hadith, Ibn Rajab)

It really is calming..that Allah knows us inside out.  Maka bersangka baiklah dengan Allah, that Allah wants the best for us in times of ease or difficulty insyaAllah. 

courtesy of yaya

missing home mode in the gloomy whether, uhuks :)

nmj

for future reference

sitting in clinics, most of the time just watching a conversation take place where you just wonder at the end of it, what was the whole presenting complaint again? and your mind just goes blank. sitting for the whole 20 minutes trying to figure out what they were actually talking about. but at the end of it. you do pick up a few bits and bobs. and in tutorials when people are stuck on the prophylaxis you give a lady developing high b/p in early stages of pregnancy. you draw out your experiences and it all becomes worth again.  of course, low dose of aspirin.  guess what? i think i might just be in love with obs & gynae.

and you just can't help but wonder how does this male dominated speciality truly gives justice to women complaining of dysmenorrhea or associated symptoms when they aren't physiologically equipped with a menstrual cycle.  i guess that's how far we have reached the standards of equality. hehe i still wonder though, why its male dominated. could it be because there's a fair amount of surgical skills required. but oh well.

its still early days, but its probably quite high on my list of interesting specialities.

Steve Jobs just passed away of pancreatic cancer. as a fan of his products, i can't help but feel a sense of sadness. first time i heard of him was in my ITGS class, a couple of years ago.  quite an inspirational figure he is.  i think his legacy could be found in every household.  i just thought, it affected the whole world when he went, and his legacy will continue for numerous generations.  just reminded me of Nabi Muhammad and his legacy that has brought rahmah to this world.  should feel more honoured and love towards our beloved Rasul insyaAllah. صلى الله عليه وسلم

Great Western Hospital, Swindon, 

nmj

of a warrywart

bismillah, 

while i wait for my fish & chips to cook, i'll spend a bit of time to update my life. as I am into my 3rd week into my obs & gynae rotation, i bump into a lot of ppl. ppl who are inspiring as well de-spiring, if there is such a word. hehe. but Alhamdulillah, more of the former.

i have also witnessed some miraculous events in life which is delivery.  and i think it is truly an eye opener.  how the fetus can twist and turn to fit in the pelvic bone, at very specific and strategic points to avoid injuries such as shoulder distocia.  Subhanallah, Allah has pre-programmed us a way of keeping our lineage and generation ongoing. as you may well realise, westerners, whom most are atheist, often refer to Allah as 'nature'. Nature has provided us with such and such. which we, interpret as Allah's intelligence. 

and slowly, just really slowly, i am in the midst of searching for myself, yet again.  i guess it never ends, until someone tells me who i am, and i believe them (which there aren't that many i can assure you, i.e: mama & the family), i will never grow out of this phase? or until i feel i have achieved something great in life? or is just the temperaments of a medical student who hasn't quite decided what she wants to be and what will her future be like? Allah, i'm sorry, sometimes i forget, that i need to always remember to tawakkal to You. or i will constantly be a worrywart.

p/s: help! daddy long legs are attacking my room! 

-nmj

for my eyes only

silly me..i think i've fallen for someone 2 days ago, the next day, i discovered he was married, with a baby girl of 18 weeks, named Olivia. and he's going to finish his electives in October and fleeing back home to Trinidad (btw, he's a white trinidadian). His wife is chinese and she seems lovely. I think he must miss them terribly, that's probably why he showed me the pictures.  such a nice, good looking (as pointed out by Claire, NOT me), young (26 yr old) man. i pray u and your family will be shown the path of Islam and become great Muslims insyaAllah (however random this thought is, i pray for the best of you). thanks for being so kind to me. i hope i don't bump into you again. if not, i might just hate your wife and your beautiful baby.

oh Allah, i wonder if there's a nice Muslim young man, as cool as the trinidadian guy out there for me. if not, maybe just anyone cool? haha. this is total madness. please do take me really seriously. :p

rambler,
nmj

of breast fed babies

and it's kicking in. 

homesickness. again. :'( this time, both bristol and malaysia. 

huu~ yaAllah please strengthen my fickle little heart. 

-nmj

of a perfect balance

Alhamdulillah. such a simple word with such a huge meaning to it, right? 

today, i slept after class due to pure knackedness. so after asr, i slept for about an hour.   Alhamdulillah, Allah helped me to wake up in time for my Maghrib prayer with a knock from my next door friend. I've just started my placement in Swindon for O&G and Alhamdulillah the accomodation, hospital and groupmates are fine so far. She wanted to borrow my internet since hers is strangely not working.  and i prayed Maghrib while she was doing her thing on my laptop. i did inform her beforehand just so she wouldn't get weird out by my telekung..hehe. 

am currently reading 'Milestones' by Sayed Qutb. another book i nicked from home.  in Malay, I think it's called Petunjuk sepanjang jalan.  funnily enough, the book was bought in 1981, 7 years before i was born. i know i could just bought a new one to bring back, i just wanted a homey feel and hopes that mama & abah will also get some 'share' from me using this book.  insyaAllah.

macbook's weirdly mirror imaged camera.

Jan. 1 1981. 30 years old.

a beautiful excerpt from the book, 

"All this was possible because those who established this religion in the form of a state, a system and laws and regulations had first established it in their hearts and lives in the form of faith, character, worship and human relationships.  they had been promised only one thing for the establishment of this religion - not victory, or power not even that this religion would be established by their hands, not related to anything of this world: - one promise, that of the Garden.  that was the only promise given to them for all their striving for all the trials which they had endured, for their steadfastness in the face of the opposition of the forces of Jahiliyyah to that call, "There is no deity except God," which is abhorrent to those who are in power in any age and place." - Syed Qutb

sometimes, we are meant to be thinking big, to reform or 'islah' the community towards a better Islamic way of life. but it all starts from within, from an individual wanting Islam for him/herself first.  I guess that's where the balance lies, trying to reform oneself, at the same time calling others to it as well, a continuous process. hehe easier said than done? wallahua'am.

-nmj

all praise is to Allah

bismillah 

as fickle minded as i could be, i decided to attend a seminar on family upbringing today at the very last minute. like. literally. 

20 minutes to bus departure time and i'm still clicking on my laptop to confirm my online payment. hm, i guess it's true. if Allah will's you to be at one place you will be there, one way or another. biiznillah.

it all started a long time in a faraway land called malaysia..when i read the email i wasn't really bothered. partly because i didn't have good internet connection, partly because i didn't want to hear about building a family yet. to be honest, in my mind, i was thinking there was only so much that one can learn from theories but a bigger part of it is in applying it.  and so i just kept a closed eye. 

back in Bristol, i was still contemplating, should i go, or not. since i'll be leaving for my placement on sunday, i was worried i wouldn't have enough time to get back to bristol and pack.  to make matters worse, i was terribly homesick. and i still am. i don't know if there's some minor dysfunction in my sense of smell but i keep on smelling mama's scent since i came back to Bristol.  on my tudung, on my clothes and even my books. a bit weird but maybe mama accidently rubbed her fragrance when she was helping me pack.  so it wouldn't help to hear a talk on family in this current condition as i would only think about them more.  and so i thought.

eventually, after a long and strenuous thought, i buckled up and went.  i guess i had a few reasons:

1. i have the free time now, why not utilise it 

2. it's given by ustaz, there will definitely some sort of unsur rabbaniyah (which i'm dying for) even though i wasn't too keen on the family upbringing side

3. if our niat is for Allah, any amal would bring us reward insyaAllah

4. to apply kesyumulan Islam itself. although i was all geared up for the academic year and didn't want my motivation to be side tracked by other thoughts, doesn't every aspect of life goes hand in hand with each other? 

so i guess that was it.  and Alhamdulillah i really enjoyed it, even the travel and all.  and a surprise was i got to meet my mum's naqibah, once upon a time as one of the panelist. :)

a few tips and learning points from today:

1. nk jd ibu/isteri kene byk sabar

2. kalau kita tlg agama Allah, Allah akan tlg kita

3. komunikasi yg baik penting, org Melayu byk gune body language as opposed to westerners yg lebih verbal

4. nk tidur sebut "Allah menjaga kita, Allah melihat kita" utk lembutkan hati kita dan ajar anak2
5. kene belajar hidup susah dulu, dan turunkan standard hidup kita utk masa depan yg lebih senang 

hehe. i think that's all. i am quite embarassed about my level of writing and the things i talk about. i feel it's so petty compared to everyone elses. may Allah gives us benefit from this.

for future reference, at least if my naqibah asks me why i didn't want to go, i have something to tell her. ;)

nad.

p/s: this is song is dedicated to mama&abah and anyone else, as this is the wedding season. mabrouk :D

am back baybey

bismillah..

to fight back the homey attachment i had reading the last entry, this post is supposed to bring back the Bristol spirit. huhu..

i'm currently reading Smart Heart by Rusdin S. Rauf. Despite the title written in English, it is actually a Malay book. or more accurately an Indonesian one. but i think it is really easy to understand and masyaAllah i think this person is truly a talented writer. I don't read much in Malay but this book Alhamdulillah i truly enjoyed though i still have another one third to finish it.  

what is it about actually? it's how to achieve a Smart Heart. a 'smart' heart as defined by the author is 'hati yang lembut, lunak dan bersih'. 

so just some snippets that i liked, 

Abu Hurairah berkata, 

Hati adalah raja and anggota badan sebagai bala tenteranya.  Apabila rajanya baik, iaitu cerdas, baiklah pasukannya.  Apabila rajanya tidak baik, tidak baiklah pasukannya.

"Hati adalah kuil yang tuhan tempatkan dlam diri setiap manusia.  sebuah kuil bagi menampung percikan Tuhan di dalam diri kita.  Kuil dalam diri kita ini lebih berharga daripada kuil yang paling suci di mana pun di muka bumi ini.  Oleh sebab itu, melukai hati manusia lebih besar dosanya berbanding merosakkan tempat suci di dunia ini." - Heart, Self and Soul, Robert Frager

frankly i'm not really sure about the technicalities of the quote by Mr Frager but i understand that we can take the meaning of it and to try not to upset or harm anyone either deliberately or unintentionally,  which is one of the Islamic teachings. 

and another one, tips for reading from Andai buku itu sepotong pizza by Hernowo.

1- tentukan focus. apakah kebaikan membaca buku ni? apa yg boleh dipelajari drp buku ni?

2- cuba utk tidak biarkan satu perkataan pun yg tidak difahami

3- ambil masa. jgn paksa hati utk terus membaca menjadi jenuh

4- 'ikatlah' makna dgn menulis

5- jangan berhenti bertanya semasa membaca, bersikap kritis semasa membaca. apa yg cuba disampaikan penulis dalam bab ni?

6- ulangi pembacaan dgn menggunakan kecerdasan majmuk. 

okay, maybe we can try this.  right need to get back to sleep..

salam, 

nmj

of a farewell

bismillah, 

by the name of Allah ar-Rahman, ar-Rahim..

throughout my twenty something years i have known myself to have an innate quality of being emotionally numb..though it might be deliberate at times..or it might just be a plainly sluggish emotional reaction to certain events before i truly unleash my feelings..

i'll give you an example, during the first night in boarding in form 4, my other 3 roommates cried of homesickness..and i didn't..

it wasn't until 2 weeks later that the homesick fever caught up to me..by then my roommates who were over theirs were the ones who comforted me.

and yesterday, when my family sent me off at KLIA i said to them don't cry, my friends will be there..if they wanted to, please do it in the car..hehe no one did. it was a joke.  once i was in the aero train, my heart wanted to burst out with tears making me want to run back. but i didn't. and so today, am here in Bristol having defeated by my jet lagged self, i am a wake at 2am in the morning. huhu and quite dauntingly waiting for my first day of 4th year tomorrow. please pray everything will go well and smooothly insyaAllah. 

we ols with nek Salmah and tok Om

just a bit about Ramadhan..as the majority of Muslims will definitely be full of sorrow and regret as the month of blessedness ends and awaits for the coming one.  i too, have a certain amount of sadness to see the blessed month pass away. but it wasn't much.  and today, as i was travelling back to Bristol, i wanted to cry because of Allah's mercy having allowed us to go through this year's Ramadhan and how much it has brought to us. having allowed us to spend it with our family at home.  having allowed us to learn.  learn more about ourselves. learn more about our family.  and learn more about Islam.  learn more about You. 

having allowed us to perform our ibadah to You without any difficulties. having allowed us to purify ourselves from our mountains of sins. and having allowed us to reconnect ties of kinship.  for all of this and many more.  Alhamdulillah thummal hamdulillah. truly, La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah. 

aqil at nek salmah's house, 1st raya

adah's bebito and combi with their 5 sons+daughters who were born during nuzul Qur'an

may Allah protect us all insyaAllah.

my love letter, 

nmj

My summer snippets

bismillah, 

i know it's been a while since i posted a new entry.  i would say, a major factor would be lack of alone time and quite a chipsmore-ish internet connection.  but Alhamdulillah, there's still one. hehe

what have i done so far?

*after finishing my SSC, 31 July 2011

1. blk kg iftar at Melaka & Johor

2. iftar with Bangians

3. went to first half of KONSISTEN

4. spent a night at Along's house

5. iftar with MO6J

6. joined Bengkel IKRAMedia

7. IMAM meeting and met up with Bristolians

8. shopping barang

Alhamdulillah, i think this is quite acceptable for the past 18 days i've been free from the clutches of the miserable eSSC. Since both cars were fully utilised by my parents, i do feel i was quite a hassle to them having to send me here and there, although, they did say it was fine. insyaAllah may Allah bless them.

Alhamdulillah again, i think this summer has been really rejuvenating and i hope i will come back with a brighter spirit to Bristol insyaAllah. 

-18 Ramadhan 2011

of wishy washy reporting

bismillah, 

Alhamdulillah, i've set foot in my home land 3 days ago.  one thing for sure is the weather here has not changed. you can expect the heat and the jerebu.  so i've had this sore throat since i arrived. to tell the truth, i'm not sure if it's the water in the plane or if it's the jerebu.  hmm...i'm pretty sure it's the latter but i think it started on the plane.  

oh well, on a more serious note, i've just 'melapor diri' for summer. which means, no hiding hiding anymore please.  oh Allah ikhlaskanlah hati ku ini. is this just a normal decline in my learning curve or am i being too lenient on myself? kweng..guess only i will b able to answer that. 

so since 3 days at home, i've had my daily Wii exercise.  I'm currently a champ in boxing and tennis. haha virtual that is. oh yeah, and a bit of baseball too. I still need to work on my batting though.  through out the day i run errands, i've been driving around a bit and also caught up with my biological jet lagged sleep.  and also i've moved up a 100 words for my ssc. hehe very impressive don't you think? nguehehe..

and also, next week we'll start berKibar. 

oh Allah please open up my heart and purify my niat. Ameen. 

lessthanthree,

nad

of a time in the past

it's been 3 years now, i hope one day our paths will cross again, insyaAllah. in the meantime, take care! missing you girls! hehe

much luv,  
nmj

of sisterrrrs (2011)

partners in crime~

@ Batu Pahat, 2009  

7 days to go~ insyaAllah.

of nenek kebayan

bismillah, 

Salam sejahtera. Berita hari ini.

1) Alhamdulillahirabbil'alamin, I can now introduce myself as Nahdiya, I'm a 4th year medical student from Bristol. 

2) I need to finish off my SSC which is so terribly utterly mundane before the above statement can be properly used. 

3) oh, oh..check out this link, hehe my 'other' escapism from SSC

http://imamuk.wordpress.com/

grrr,

-nadmj

rain n smiles =summer camp UK 2011

Alhamdulillah for giving us the chance...

to give better meaning to the things we do in life..insyaAllah. 

i quote a sister "semua org bercamping, kita nampak ramai mat salleh camping, tapi apa bezanya camping kita dgn camping mereka adalah makna. Kita ada makna yang lebih besar kepada aktiviti yang kita buat, mungkin kita tak byk berjaulah ke tempat-tempat lain, tapi jaulah yang bermaknalah yang lebih berharga." 

Pennine way, yorkshire dale

and here's a list of what this year's summer camp meant to me insyaAllah:

hidup yang sekejap di dunia

pain is temporary as is rain, but a good deed/pahala is forever insyaAllah.  Alhamdulillah utk ruang-ruang yang Allah beri utk kita beramal. 

solat in the rain. hehe n that's me trying to join the saf ;)

nikmat dan rahmat Allah yang terlampau luas

without being wet, we wouldn't appreciate being dry.  without wet clothes and shoes, we wouldn't appreciate our warm and dry garments.  without having to drive for 4 and a half hours we wouldn't appreciate the services along the way. hehe

وَإِنْ تَعُدُّوا نِعْمَةَ اللَّهِ لَا تُحْصُوهَا إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَغَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ

(16:18) If you try to reckon up Allah's blessings, you cannot count them. Indeed, He is Forgiving and Compassionate

and to appreciate Allah's nikmat as best as possible. to always question ourselves what are we doing with Allah's nikmat that we are graciously given for free and using everyday? are we using it for the good?

Janet's Foss Waterfall

to always have good faith in Allah and to not complain about the weather ;)

the day we had our hiking was terrible because it was raining throughout the day. and in my dark and damaged heart, i was thinking this is so bad..oh Allah please make it sunny.  i prayed and prayed silently. but it still didn't change.  but i was still happy nevertheless the walk was great, and it went smoothly Alhamdulillah. then, we had out tadabbur on Malham Cove and we went through the verses from surah an-Nahl 1-18..but these two particular versus struck me.

هُوَ الَّذِي أَنْزَلَ مِنَ السَّمَاءِ مَاءً لَكُمْ مِنْهُ شَرَابٌ وَمِنْهُ شَجَرٌ فِيهِ تُسِيمُونَ 

(16:10) It is He, Who sends down for you water from the sky, which provides drinking water for you and brings forth fodder for your cattle.

يُنْبِتُ لَكُمْ بِهِ الزَّرْعَ وَالزَّيْتُونَ وَالنَّخِيلَ وَالْأَعْنَابَ وَمِنْ كُلِّ الثَّمَرَاتِ إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآَيَةً لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ 

(16:11) And thereby He grows for you crops and olives and date-palms and vines and different kinds of many other fruits. Surely there is a great Sign in this for those people who ponder.

it was such a blow to my selfish self.  in the heat of the moment i must've forgotten that Allah sent down His rain as a blessing to us.  and I quickly said istighfar.  may Allah forgive me.  the next thing i knew, with every drop of rain, i smiled.  and i felt uplifted as though each drop was a hug.  a sign of love and care from Him.  the funny thing is, the next day which was our last, was really bright and sunny and hot too.  and i thought, it would have probably been worse hiking in this weather as we would have been sweating profusely and dropped down to our knees from exhaustion in an instant. which ever way, truly Allah knows best.  and so, if ever i complain about the weather being too hot, or the rain non-stop can you remind me to stop and have good faith in Allah, pleaseeee? ^^

Gordale Scar, Yorkshire Dale

at-tadhiyyah

another quote from a sister a.k.a kemkom "sebenarnya waktu kita rasa berat dan kena berkorban, waktu itulah kita diuji, kalau kita rasa senang je sebenarnya kita belum teruji lagi." so basically, if we are not yet tested than how do we know that we have actually grasped the many theories we've learned so far. because the end point of learning something is always in the amal, insyaAllah. 

Allah, it scares me everytime I write things in here because we will always be tested for every word we say.  Astaghfirullah astaghfirullah astaghfirullah. but i know if i don't write this down somewhere part of it will be forgotten and become a distant memory.  and i hope that won't happen. ;)

sisterly love..fillah insyAllah

may Allah help us to become better people and grant us the understanding we need and the strength to practice what we preach insyaAllah.

p/s: congrats to the childhood bestfriend who just tied the knot on the 24th of june. in the midst of waiting at the checkpoint for summer camp explorace, i was thinking of you guys and wished i could be there. hehe. congrats again Mrs. 'Atikah! (i didn't forget the apostrophe hehe)

yours sincerely (which means without wax),

nmj

of growth hormone

bismillah

In endocrinology, we learn that too much growth hormone (GH) will lead to acromegaly, while insufficient GH will cause cretinism or dwarfism. 

unfortunately today is not about the above growth hormone but rather about a special growth hormone that one need's to be actively produced for others to benefit from. 

about a few weeks ago, we had a Malaysian Club dinner, and there was a speech given by Dr Evans, the club's advisor.  One thing that I truly appreciate from it is that we need one another to help us grow.  We have a responsibility to our friends, to our love one's and to people around us to help one another to improve and become better people.  And i truly agree since a good society would indefinitely consist of good people. 

  

as i was reading through Fathi Yakan's BP, i want to share hadith Rasulullah, as a reminder for me especially, yang bermaksud:

"Awas kalian drp sifat prasangka.  Sesungguhnya prasangka itu adalah kata-kata yg paling dusta.  Jngn saling olok-mengolok, intai-mengintai (kesalahan), atas-mengatasi, dengki-mendengki, benci-membenci dan jebak-menjebak.  Jadilah kalian laksana hamba-hamba Allah yg bersaudara seperti yang telah diperintahkan kpd kalian.  seorg Muslim itu adalah saudara seorg Muslim lain.  Jgnlah ia menzalimi saudaranya; jgnlah ia membiarkannya (apabila ia dizalimi); jgnlah ia menghina saudaranya.  Taqwa itu letaknya di sini.  Taqwa itu letaknya di sini, seraya menunjuk ke dadanya.'  Cukuplah bg seorg Muslim itu kejahatan (dosa) menghina saudaranya yg Mu'min haram bg sesorg Muslim itu (menceroboh) darah (nyawa) nama baik dan harta sesorg Muslim yg lain." (Hadith riwayat Malek, Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Daud dan Tarmizi)

a diversion from doing SSC, 

-nmj

temporary abode

dunia is but a temporary home.

of seeking pleasure

It amazes me to see how I could stay up at night to finish Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol but I couldn't bring myself more than an hour to go through Syed Qutb's before dozing off.  Truly in pleasure there is some sort of power?

"Janganlah anda cepat merasa puas dengan melihat nama anda tercantum sebagai seorang Islam dalam daftar tanda penduduk anda, tetapi berusahalah agar nama anda tercatat dalam buku catatan Allah sebagai hambanya yang patuh." (MHM, Al-Maududi)

 "Tidak ada gunanya bila seluruh manusia di dunia ini memberikan surat keterangan bahawa anda adalah seorang Islam.  Kejayaan anda yang sebenarnya terletak dalam penilaian yang diberikan oleh Allah, bahwa anda adalah seorang Mu'min, bukannya seorang munafiq, seorang beriman, bukannya seorang kafir." (MHM, Al-Maududi)

the copy paster,
nmj

just plain rambling

bismillah

among the things i find challenging growing up is the ambiguity in distinguishing the yellow from the orange, the red from the pink and the brown from the black. you may think i might be suffering from colour blindness but i am quite sure to say it's far from that.  i'm actually talking figuratively.

the black and the white. if only the grey doesn't exist. then again, what is life without the space to exercise one's mental abilities? and the reward He gives us for being stressed out over something minute.

Allah, please guide me in making the right choices in life. insyaAllah. and also the strength to stick with the choices made. 


-nmj

of a pacifier

bismillah. 

first and foremost, Alhamdulillah for exams that come and most importantly GO! ;) just like anything created on this world.

i was so bogged down recently and i wasn't sure why, and to top it all, my mood also went down hill, and then i came across some ayats in surah at-taghabun which made my day,

يُسَبِّحُ لِلَّهِ مَا فِي السَّمَوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ لَهُ الْمُلْكُ وَلَهُ الْحَمْدُ وَهُوَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ 

(64:1) All that is in the heavens and all that is in the earth extols Allah’s glory. His is the sovereignty and to Him is all praise due; He has power over everything.

هُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ فَمِنْكُمْ كَافِرٌ وَمِنْكُمْ مُؤْمِنٌ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ بَصِيرٌ 

(64:2) He it is Who has created you: and among you are those that deny the Truth and among you are those that believe in it. Allah observes all that you do.

خَلَقَ السَّمَوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضَ بِالْحَقِّ وَصَوَّرَكُمْ فَأَحْسَنَ صُوَرَكُمْ وَإِلَيْهِ الْمَصِيرُ 

(64:3) He created the heavens and the earth with Truth and shaped you, giving you excellent shapes. And to Him is your ultimate return.

يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي السَّمَوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ وَيَعْلَمُ مَا تُسِرُّونَ وَمَا تُعْلِنُونَ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ بِذَاتِ الصُّدُورِ 

(64:4) He knows what is in the heavens and the earth, and knows what you conceal and what you disclose. Allah even knows what lies hidden in the breasts of people.

xx,

 post final exam 3rd year,

6/7/11

nmj 

the uncanny rambler

what happens when you come to a point and realise that fairytales also have expiry dates? 

can someone tell me to take a deep breath, and stand strong darling, 

because swaying to and fro are only cool for rocking chairs and palm trees on the beach. 

in search of inspiration?

arhhhhh.

Rabbi yassir wa la tuassir..

OSCE here we come! bismillah

لَا تَجِدُ قَوْمًا يُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآَخِرِ يُوَادُّونَ مَنْ حَادَّ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَلَوْ كَانُوا آَبَاءَهُمْ أَوْ أَبْنَاءَهُمْ أَوْ إِخْوَانَهُمْ أَوْ عَشِيرَتَهُمْ أُولَئِكَ كَتَبَ فِي قُلُوبِهِمُ الْإِيمَانَ وَأَيَّدَهُمْ بِرُوحٍ مِنْهُ وَيُدْخِلُهُمْ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْرِي مِنْ تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمْ وَرَضُوا عَنْهُ أُولَئِكَ حِزْبُ اللَّهِ أَلَا إِنَّ حِزْبَ اللَّهِ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ 

(58:22) You shall not find a people who believe in Allah and the Last Day befriending those who oppose Allah and His Messenger even though they be their fathers or their sons or their brothers or their kindred. He has inscribed faith in their hearts and has strengthened them with a spirit from Him, and He shall make them enter Gardens beneath which rivers flow. Therein they shall abide. Allah is well-pleased with them, and they are well-pleased with Him. They belong to Allah’s party. Verily Allah’s party shall prosper.

of a h moment

bismillah. 

i was about to rest my eyes, when curiosity suddenly struck me.  my fingers started twitching and without jeopardising my body's need for heat (aka without moving out of the duvet) i reached for the OHCM or what is referred to the Cheese & Onion in the med students world. 

with a deep thought in mind, scrutinising every incident as it happened, looking at the index page for what is appropriate, and finally...finally wondering if the search is over. 

trembling with fear, i was shocked at the distinct similarity ingrained in ink.

page 269.   

Wilson's disease.

am I a victim?

*lol! hypochondriacal moment over* clap2

ok, i was looking through the disease i figured there were some familiarities - labile emotions. or is that just a common feature for a group of productive unpredictable mammals, commonly known as women? 

ngeh. 

a bit of blabbering in the morning sun. 

Alhamdulillahillazi ahyana ba'dama amatana wa ilaihin nushur..

ALhamdulillah for allowing us to breath again this morning and to blabber on for the day. 

-nmj

someone deactivated her fb..since you come here a lot,
wondering how you're doing?

:)

xxx

post long case exam.

bismillah. 

ahah. so i've been fiddling around with the layout a bit.

this is my so called post long case de-stress mode..

and to suit the outlook of things, i've also added in a bit or two to the title. 

a bit of optimism wouldn't hurt insyaAllah.  ;)

yiowzerr!

time flies by so quickly. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. EXammmmm!!!

I know I haven't been a very good servant, Allah, i really need Your help.

my best friend's upcoming wedding

"Dear Ms 'Atikah Rozhan,
I am writing in misery at this very moment as the reality just dawned on me that i would not be able to make it to my best friend's wedding.

pls accept my apologies and may the force be with you.

...that is, may Allah shower you with His blessing on that day and the many many days to come insyaAllah and may your ceremony run as smoothly as a cup of Tropicana orange juice SMOOTH with no bits in it. Amin.

luvs,
-nmj xx"

6/5/11 - Facebook

of a self-diagnosis

coughing for a week
green sputum for the past 3-4 days
started having snot yesterday
temperature of 38 degrees
central chest pain from coughing

amoxicillin for 7 days, 3 times a day.
sick note for 5 days..wee~

اللهم اشف شفاءً لا يغادر سقماً

La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah

bismillah.

Alhamdulillah, these past few days have really proven La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah.

it started with an easter holiday that was meant to be a period of catching up with the neglected Kumar & Clark, Oxford Handbook of Clinical Medicine, McLeod's and a few others.

but Alhamdulillah, Allah knows best. and indeed, it is the best insyaAllah.

optimistic.

a very simple term with a deep and inspiring meaning. that was the most valuable thing i appreciated from IMAM symposium yesterday.

the speakers were extraordinary medical professionals with incorporated Islamic fikrah. masyaAllah. how often do we get the oppurtunity to draw on their thoughts and experience? so Alhamdulillah, Allah willed for us to make it through the 3 and a half hours drive to Manchester that morning, although we left half an hour later than planned, we made it 10 minutes into the first speech.

a quote from Dr Burhanuddin,

"Maher zain didn't stop singing when he saw there were so many singers,

Mark Zuckerberg didn't stop when he saw many other social networking sites, Friendster, Myspace."

and they won.

so we shouldn't stop trying either.

In one of his speeches, Prof Abdul Rasyid mentioned an ayat from our book of guidance,

وَالَّذِينَ جَاهَدُوا فِينَا لَنَهْدِيَنَّهُمْ سُبُلَنَا وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَمَعَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

(29:69) As for those who strive in Our cause, We shall surely guide them to Our Ways. Indeed Allah is with those who do good.

so we should always try to do the most good that we can do, becoming great doctors for the Ummah, seizing each oppurtunity as it comes along, and striving to become the best.

learning to appreciate and cherish knowledge as it is all from The Almighty, and using it to benefit mankind.

"Khairun nas man Yanfaunnas" - the best people are those who benefit others

thus, what is there to hold us back from grabbing the chance to become the best? when we know Allah is with us, those who are doing good insyaAllah.

in a meeting after the event, he said, "Dakwah is not just in usrah, because that itself is actually secularism in Islam".

and I learned, dakwah is in every bit of our life. be it smiling to patients, reading doa to them in consultations, and becoming a role model House Officer with Islamic values insyaAllah.




p/s: notice the highlighted part in the ayat? nahdiya ^_^

-nmj

bismillah

aunty hani with the baby monster

nut, honey and fairy cakes..food based names..hehe

princess pinky

ok, em, beware on the other side is the 'closed eyes boundary' aka sunbathing men, euww.

a weekend getaway (in the midst of so many things to do?) nevertheless Alhamdulillah, a really enjoyable time. subhanAllah. mashaAllah. tq Allah.

p/s: perhaps i shouldn't have any other excuses not to study? ;p esok bgn awal, hantar kete, pastu study!!!!!

-nmj

so there is actually a conclusion.

that life is not worth living if we all live like robots.

binneka tunggal eka! unity in diversity.

everyone is unique. and i purposely use this word in its true meaning and not a euphemism for any negative remark. human potential is undoubtly huge. and so i've learned. from someone who is very dear to me, my little sister dids.

i've never known her to become a leader let alone be able to organise a homestay event and speak in front of many. but she did it and she enjoyed it. though come to think of it, her nursery teacher did call her 'bossy boots' back then. maybe her teacher knew her better than we did. Alhamdulillah, her talent.

i've also learned so much from a sister. an older sister who's close in my heart. who always puts others in front of herself. though her tribulations are more than one could imagine. and ongoing. she keeps on fighting every minute of every day.

she is an inspiration, even if one might not say it out loud to her. her efforts spell it out.

even in the deepest trench, she thinks as a Muslimah. what could be more inspiring?

may Allah make us servants who live under His blessing in every inch insyaAllah.

-nmj

hak

bismillah.

kerana setiap org itu ada haknya, seperti juga setiap huruf hija'iyyah yang mempunyai makhrajnya yang tersendiri.

dari al-jauf, asy-syafatain, al-halqum, al-lisan

hak yang perlu kita tunaikan, sebaik yang mungkin.

وَرَتِّلِ الْقُرْآَنَ تَرْتِيلً

and recite the Qur’an slowly and distinctly. (73:4)

agar kalimah-kalimah yang kita baca tepat maknanya, juga sama sebagaimana Rasulullah menyebutnya. ayat-ayat yang dibacakan kepada kaum Musyrikin, kepada kaum Muslimin adalah ayat-ayat yg sama yang kita bacakan hari ini. merpakan mukjizat utama Rasulullah dalam menyampaikan Islam.

seperti itu juga pentingnya kita menunaikan hak-hak org di sekeliling. kerana pada dasarnya adalah menunaikan hak kita kepada Allah. untuk hidup sebagai hambaNya. bukan hidup memenuhi nafsu sendiri insyaAllah.

peringatan buat diriku yang sering terlalai.

p/s: note to self, alihkan kereta pg esok.

-nmj