of a little finger

it's a complicated world we're living in. so we make our lives easier by giving generalizations on other people. is that fair?

just finished watching a cd borrowed from 'wonder man'. he gave a very strong warning about borrowing it. "if you scratch it, i will cut off your little finger."* haha. though it might have scared me, i still managed to watch it. ;p

Alhamdulillah, it was truly an eye opener. a compilation of short documentaries on Gaza - not forgotten, Imperial Geography, Promised Land, and Reel Bad Arabs.

anyway, i was really inspired by the Reel Bad Arabs. how without even realizing it, we are giving generalizations towards a certain ethnicity, group and in this case it was towards the Arabs. how the US political state is currently influencing the mainstream media in hopes of seeping into the minds of its society. how Hollywood reflects Arabs, Palestinians as violent, shallow and incompetent villains when in reality they are vulnerable civilians who are being crushed by heavy tanks and fighting over the rights to their lands with only their bare hands. how we are becoming insensitive towards the fate of others and dehumanizing other people. isn't our lives worth the same as theirs?

isn't it time that we move past this judgmental paradigm and try looking at different perspectives before coming up with conclusions? are the actions of a few people enough to justify the actions of the whole population? the same goes with terrorists. let's give an example, if there were 3 nerds in a class, does that make the whole class nerds? (huhuh. how ironic is this example? sorry!)

and there's this other aspect of seeing things in different aspects. just like the famous saying goes, "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter" funny? but true.

and which reminds me that there's a lot more issues going on in this world that i'm still oblivious of. gotta start reading more materials laaaa....(besides the mountains of medical books that i so haven't touched yet) ok? huhuh.


"oh Allah please protect us from passing judgement on others. insyaAllah. Amin."


*that was meant to be a joke.

oh Allah.
i'm in need of a hug from someone.
preferably someone yg agak sedap utk dipeluk.
hihi. tq.

kueng kueng.

cuba baca/dengar ayat ni:

60 tahun compared to selama-lamanya.

rasa macam 60 tahun tu kejap sangat kan?

xlama dah. in theory tahu xlama. tapi.....
nak go through everyday pun rasa mcm penat.
apekah? haha.
tlg semangat sket boleh. ;D

p.s: heheh. xnk mati sia-sia, boleh?

'Allahummakhtim alaina bihusnil khatimah,wala takhtim alaina Ya Allah bisu'il khatimah'

bangun pagi

semakin hari, terasa diri semakin tua. usia hanya satu angka dan kematangan adalah nilaian subjektifnya.
terasa diri semakin asing. semakin keseorangan. meskipun pada zahirnya tenggelam di tengah-tengah lautan manusia.
terasa semakin perlunya berdikari. timbul satu kesedaran. bahawa tanggungjawab diri manusia terletak pada empunya nya sendiri.
semakin perlunya berserah diri. menyerahkan segalanya. dalam mengharapkan ampunan dan rahmat yang Esa.


p/s: aih. tiba2 rase jeles je ngn budak2 yang masih 'teen'agers nih.

reconstruction

an emptiness. a hideout. a temporary soother.

scratch that.
let's make some reconstructions.

a motivation. an inspiration. a hope. a dream. a rising.
an attempt. a start.


hm..that's better than nothing kan?

"Rabbana atina milladun ka rahmah. wa hayyi' lana min amrina rasyada." Amin.

kesejukan . my heater's not working. sobs. adakah ini utk menguji treshold kesejukan saya? hehe. Allah baru tarik nikmat tido dalam panas kejap da menggelabah kan. aduhai manusia. betul la org cakap. bila dlm kesusahan baru nk ingat Allah.

yaAllah. jadikanlah ku hamba-Mu yang sentiasa mengingatiMu dalam apa jua keadaan sekalipun. tika senang mahu pun susah. Amin.

i just made my blog private. heheh. i think i've put my life in the spotlight long enough. keeping things to myself. this is more me. more intimate. more reserve. and of course, (since no one will be reading this a part from me) more weird. heee ^_^

so yeah, i think i write better for myself. though my blog is purposely for myself, but since i've made it public, i do wonder bout what people might think of me when they read my blog. hehe. i guess it's just natural. hopefully, what i've written before and what people have read will bring us benefits and His blessings insyaAllah.

i'm hoping this blog will become public once again when i'm ready to show off my life. hahah joking2. till then. bye~ ;)

(p/s: currently missing my chicas in BBB)

ada org kate, 'it's all about life'. em, kalau kita tukar sket leh ke?
'it's all about the life after death?'. hehe. sounds scary kan? but maybe there's some truth in that?

unnecessary rambling

so i seem to find some strength in friends.
though it might demand an explanation, it's not hard to understand, i think.
no matter what, our strength comes from Allah jgk kan? haruslah kita keep praying and depend on Him sentiasa. (am i destroying the languages here?).
ah. too many things to put into words.
malas. ngeehee
btw, dear miss z, i'm so jealous you got to meet that 'person' (while i could only listen on youtube) :p heheh.


p/s: the start of a new beginning? hehe. currently in love with his new album. zain bhikha rules!

of Morrisons and Power Rangers

the precious smile.
the precious smile is gone.
that once before helped lit my life.
that made my day shine strong and bright.
that thrown the bats, cockroaches and vampires aside.
and made my burdens seem so light.

oh the smile.
which once resided on my face.
is deeper in my heart than what's on the surface.
the smile that was always there hidden in grace.
is finally lost and shall never be traced.

i want the smile
but never in vain
i want the smile
though it might not be the same
i want the smile
for a different reason
i want the smile
of pureness and sincerity again

without the smile we may be in dismay
but the smile you see, can be harmful in its own way
so here i am wiping the smile i once had away
praying that He'll replace it with a better one someday

p/s: i don't seem to be painting a lot these days. does it have something to do with snapping more photos instead?
so here's the part where i ramble. alright, so what if my attempted poetry sucks. hehe. i know i'm no good at it anyway. oh yeah, i sorta remember my first poem back in Year 2 in Sheffield. here goes..

"tweet tweet
to whoo to whoo
good night to me
good night to you"

i was 6 years old. and the poem was about an owl.

ah. the past weekend i went to Notts. kak ali drove. passed a few places. slept in a sisters house. was such a lovely house. and they were incredible people. through out the journey had a whole bunch of childhood memories flooding through my brain.

after more than a year here, i managed to finally go and shop at Morrisons!!!!! :D
though u might not understand why it is such a big deal, seeming that it's just like any other supermarkets, believe me, it is a HUGE deal. once a week i would go there with mama n bring our grocery trolley bag and do our groceries there. for 5 years. so yeah, that was the deal. hehe, the feeling of reminiscing my childhood days. ....it's just hard to describe. hehe

and in the car, i felt really safe. like my dad was driving. that this was one of the road trips to peak district, or botanical gardens, or manchester, or to the place where they sell the fresh fruit tableware that my mom was so crazy about a long time ago. hehe.

looking at how kak A takes care of her daughters just made me miss my parents more. i remember i would wake up at around 5 o'clock in the morning when my other sisters was sleeping just to watch power rangers. i would tip toe down stairs to the tv room but only be disappointed to find abah in front of the tele reciting the quran. I don't think he knew why i was awake and i would just tip toe back up to bed. sometimes if i was too tired i would just sleep on the sofa in front of my dad or on his lap. that was when i was 5.

now i'm _ _. so shouldn't i be thinking about the future instead?

of wonderful words and powerful feelings.

i should be doing some work.

i think this should do for now.

(61:14)