bismillah.

salam, may Allah grant us peace and blessings insyaAllah.

ayat of the today,

يَا بُنَيَّ إِنَّهَا إِنْ تَكُ مِثْقَالَ حَبَّةٍ مِنْ خَرْدَلٍ فَتَكُنْ فِي صَخْرَةٍ أَوْ فِي السَّمَوَاتِ أَوْ فِي الْأَرْضِ يَأْتِ بِهَا اللَّهُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَطِيفٌ خَبِيرٌ 31:16

(Luqman said): “Son, Allah will bring forth* everything even if it be as small as the grain of a mustard seed even though it be hidden inside a rock or (anywhere) in the heavens or earth. Allah is Most Subtle, All-Aware.

so, what have I learnt? biji sawi is mustard seed in English. hehe. this is a picture of the famous mustard seed. ala2 kacang dal ke? honestly, i've never encountered biji sawi in life. hmm,
i wonder why mustard seed was used, aside from its size.

* That is, "Nothing can escape Allah's knowledge and His grasp. A seed in the rock may be hidden for you, but it is known to AIIah. A particle in the heavens may be very distant for you, but for AIIah it is very near. A thing lying in the layers of the earth may be lying in darkness for you but for him it is in full light. Therefore, you cannot do anything good or bad, anywhere or any time, which may remain hidden from AIIah. He is not only aware of it, but when the time for accountability coms, He will place before you a full record of each act of yours. " - Abul a'al al-Maududi's translation

accountability, an emphasis in Islam compared to other religions, particularly Chritianity. a concept that is easy to understand, a good act, will be rewarded with pahala, a bad act will be rewarded with a punishment. Adil isn't it? to take it a step further, if we already know this fact, why are we limiting ourselves in doing good, when we don't know when our time will be up?

just to remind myself, never to feel complacent or satisfied with the amount of amal we're doing. just compare ourselves to Rasulullah and see how far apart we are from him. or even how we're trailing far behind his companions. Munirah said something about some US business companies comparing among themselves for improvement, but their improvement was about the same. and there's this one Japanese company who had a massive improvement because it compared itself to the 100% standard. maybe, that's our way forward?

the world is our oyster. mari beramal insyaAllah.

(i don't normally write long, my subconscious mind might be stalling me from revising)
-nmj

of crazy rants

hi, salaaaaam... Alhamdulillah just finished my exam. as much as i hate viva exams i had to do it. humph. and as much as i know i am not a smartie pants, i still act like one. i am the top-notch slacker. and just barely realising it, throughout 23 years of my life, Allah has helped me a lot through it all. Alhamdulillah again. because the nagging of my seniors and the stress i get from my housemates who are study addicts, i started to work hard (okay, maybe not as hard for anyone's standard) for this exam. after 23 years of living, i just realised it feels good to actually try as best as i could and leave the rest to Allah.

so maybe after this, i should work harder. especially if i still want to be an orthopod/rheumatologist sometime in the future insyaAllah. my new aim for the new 23 year old me. hehe, i'm just rubbing in it aren't i? for those of you who forgot, i just had my birthday, but it was near the exams so i couldn't care less. so now, since i'm free for a bit, i shall start my endeavor on reaping my presents from people nearby. you know who you are...hahaha~ (evil laugh)

p/s: i'm sorry, pardon this entry. this is the best that could come out from a famished crazy person living in the huge, cold, dark house alone waiting for her housemates to come back from their trip. Allah, tunjukkanlah dia jalan yg terang dan lurus. Amin.



a clue on who might this person be.....


Boo!

-nmj

salaaam..

I've been at home today, but Allah, have i learnt and seen loads. or to be exact, READ loads. i spent a whole day reading a story book which is not very smart of me since my exams is in 2 days time. phew? i hated that book, but i kept on reading, i kept on going through every word and flipping through each page. only to have my hopes crushed in the end. its quite ironic when i think about it again, hoping that there would be a happy ending at the end, which was the thing that kept me going, but the same hope again was the reason that got me disturbed when it didn't end the way i'd liked.

and i thought, what are humans without hope? we hope for every single thing in life, we hope to have a job, a family of our own one day, a day to have a good day at the hospital. hope to have friends who would understand us. hope for a great life.

and there, and then is what separates us from the normal people who hope. because our hopes is also accompanied by prayers. and our prayers are not just words or hymns but is our faith, woven with love, hope and fear to Allah. and what strengthens our hope is by knowing that Allah's promise is not just an average promise but a promise from the Most High.

Ibn Taymiyah (May Allah have mercy on him) said “If the kings knew the happiness and pleasure that we feel in our hearts, they would come and try to take it away from us with the tips of their swords.”

-nmj.

Allah.

فَبِأَيِّ آَلَاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ

(55:23) Which of the wonders of your Lord’s power will you twain – you men and jinn – then deny?

وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِنْ شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَئِنْ كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ

(14:7) And remember also that your Lord forewarned, `If you be grateful I will increase My favours on you, and if you be ungrateful (you should know that) My chastisement is severe indeed'!"

sometimes i forget. how do i be a grateful servant?

homesick. nak nangis. x bes.

granma n caterpillar

makcik kecik n caterpillar

the gang


pembuli kecik

caterpillar yg menangis

caterpillar isap jari

budak nakal yg sempat menyelit

i miss them.

of nociceptors and body chemicals

i'm in pain. physical pain. ouuuu..w..
i don't really know why writing this down would help..just needed an outlet to express the pain. ouuu...w.. can you hear me? huhu

قلب بين يدي قلب و بيد الله كل قلب

عين ترعى عينا، وعين الله ترعى

كلمة طيبة صدقة

تبسمك لأخيك صدقه

كل معروف صدقة

اللهم اشف شفاءً لا يغادر سقماً

A soul/ heart in the hands of other souls/ hearts,
And all the hearts are in God's Hands.
Eyes looking after(nurturing) other Eyes, and God's eyes look after( and nurture) us all.
A kind word is a charity.
A smile for your brother is charity.
All good works are charity.
Oh God heal us in manner which leaves no sickness behind

Amin..

^_^ -nmj

of a dream dialogue

bismillah

i think i've been slacking off a lot lately. okay, i should scratch the THINK. and i'm saying this not with any hint of proudness at all but mainly disapointment. looking back at the times when i could have done more useful things. Allahummaghfirli and forgive me for Your time that i've wasted.

i think the slacking off goes in terms of my study, of my personal development, of my mutabaah amal. Syed Qutb wrote in tafsir al-Asr, what is iman? while we may have a lot of linguistic definitions for iman, it is actually the relationship with Allah. having a poor relationship with Allah consequently results in low iman.

i would want to say and give excuses for the times i've been playing around that i was not in the right mental state, that i was being tested and i could not handle it especially in this cold with no sun where being close to becoming a hyperchondriac i seriously believe i have SAD syndrome. but i'm thinking again in the future, on the day of judgement when all creations will bow down to Allah, will i be able to say, "Allah, i went through mountains of ice and swam through oceans of fire for You. will You be happy with my offerings and accept me as one of Your obedient slaves?" (pardon me for my random metaphors) i truly, madly, deeply would want to say this.

Allahumma, please forgive this rambling slave that loves to write loads but rarely acts on it, that always wastes Your time, and procrastinates Her work. (especially her ssc) but is slowly finding her reason to live and becoming a muslimah. Allah, guide me and provide me strength ya Allah. (oh, and for my kakak usrah too..and all the muslim/ahs in this world too. insyaAllah)

"kerana seharusnya mempunyai visi dan misi yg jelas itu mampu utk melonjakkan amal dan menetapkan kaki utk terus istiqamah."

insyaAllah.

Allah.

am I failing Allah's test of obedience?

please nooooo~ I want to succeed Allah.