from my dark dungeon of feelings..

so the seasons changing..and the daffodils are out and blooming..

and so are we..for the better insyaAllah..

lately there's been so many posts about love and BM and stuff, just makes me a bit fed up. not because i have anything against it, but i do feel it is such a distraction that there are so many things you want to achieve in life, in which this distraction is not really helping.

oh Allah, I hope for my friends and even me myself, I pray that we won't get into this circle of false dreams and living in lala land..that may just stray us away from our main purpose in life.

if i haven't learned by myself, my naqibah has thought me countless times that life is not a fairy tale..and that nothing comes easy in life..

and after a few months of pondering on it..it is constituted in my way of thinking as well..and I do, I truly want to be among those that will serve Your deen well..

yaAllah let us get back on track, and stop dwelling in the world of unknown, and start paving our future, because what we decide today at this moment in time, will decide what we will be in the future..

and everytime there's that hole in my heart, be it missing my family or friends..it's better to fill it up with deeds that will make You love us even more..

I truly want to be a servant that You love..please provide me strength yaAllah, mainly against my own demons..and guide us yaAllah.

a terrible goof for fairytales and happy endings,
nmj

of learning and losing..

salam wbt, 

lately labile emotions sket. takpela..may Allah forgive our sins..

astaghfirullahal azim..

bismillah,

as you may well have noticed, i am not in the season of updating my life's journey on the b to the l to the o to the g! since i have started to retrace back to the wonderful olden days where there didn't exist any internet. and how have they managed to document their life's journey? yes, on a hard cover diary/journal.. cut things short, i have started to keep a diary again. well, sort of.

hopefully my rambles won't be too exhaustive after this. muhaha.

the other day, i was cleaning the kitchen. particularly getting rid of the habuk2 on the floor. i seem to seek solace in cleaning at the moment. maybe because the reward is visible. or maybe because their lies a deeper meaning in it. the fact that it's a sunnah, or because the whole body is moving thus endorphines are released or because "an nazhafatu minal iman". whatever the reason is, it felt good.

as i was cleaning the habuk + grease. it took some time to actually remove the grime. ucks. and Alhamdulillah, there was actually some tarbiyah behind it.  you know how grime is so difficult to remove? and once you remove it, it just keeps forming again without fail? yes, but basically, even if you aren't able to remove all of it the first time around, it is still less than before. and if you constantly do it, say, my rate, i would be cleaning perhaps once a month, the grime would still get less each time.  and if we keep on working on it, in the end, there will come a day, when the grime would finally disappear, and the role of cleaning the kitchen next time would be maintaining the grimeless kitchen rather than still actively removing the grime.

and the same would go to our hearts.


lots of love,
nahdiya

_____________________________

Pictures from MABIT 17/2/12

SOB

semput. 
semput. 
dan semput. 

nangis. berhenti. nangis balik.
*dalam hati* 
ok dah elok
Allah. Allah. Allah.

-"and the only appropriate response, is gratefullness" - Louis Schwartzberg