bismillah.

first of all, i have noticed that this song is a bit cheesy. oh well, i still like it.

secondly, i heard prof tariq ramadan's talk at ISNA (on youtube) and he truly is an exceptional speaker. his ideas are very clear and very relevant in today's time. and i feel that the problem has always been at the back of my mind, but it is reassuring for him to point out what was actually the case.

what i found interesting was what he said about knowledge. "We should use the knowledge to be close to Allah, and we should get knowledge to serve, not to be served...We are not seeking knowledge to be served, we are not seeking knowledge for our ego.."

so if what we're learning is not making us closer to Allah, maybe there's something that needs to be fixed.

thirdly, knowing the theory and learning to practice or apply it are two definitely different aspects. and i think the endpoint for learning a theory is for us to actually apply it. which reminds me, i need to learn to do the musculoskeletal examination, and to make sure i really learn it is to be able to practice it on people. so who wants to volunteer being my subject? ^.^

مَنْ عَمِلَ صَالِحًا فَلِنَفْسِهِ وَمَنْ أَسَاءَ فَعَلَيْهَا ثُمَّ إِلَى رَبِّكُمْ تُرْجَعُونَ

(45:15) Whoever acts righteously, does so to his own good; and whoever commits an evil will suffer its consequence. All of you will then be sent back to your Lord.

warm wishes! xx

of someone who likes to write nonsense

bismillah.

salam. hi :)
so yeah, yesterday i got to experience a few miracles. aside from still living. Alhamdulillah. i got to scrub in a surgery. my first scrub in. it was a total knee replacement. hehe. and an Achilles tendon..something..can't remember.

i've noticed, the orthopaedics are somehow mostly made up from the attractive cohort of the population. not that i'm saying it has any importance. just a purely neutral finding. the best thing is, the head of the department is a lady. bossing all these rugby player sized men. and to make things more interesting, she's even tinier than me. (okay, you may not agree, but in this part of the world, i am undersized). hehe. go lady power!

okay, enough with the jabbering..seeing the surgeons in action i can now understand why doctors and especially surgeons would see the body as a mechanical thing rather than seeing a person with emotions and...stuff. because frankly that is what it is. by giving anaesthetics all sensation of pain is lost. leaving the limb as a dead structure where you can tear it open and do all sorts of things. wonderful isn't it?

إِنَّ الْحَلاَلَ بَيِّنٌ، وَإِنَّ الْحَرَامَ بَيِّنٌ، وَبَيْنَهُمَا أُمُورٌ مُشْتَبِهَاتٌ لاَيَعْلَمُهُنَّ كَثِيرٌ مِنَ النَّاسِ، فَمَنْ اتَّقَى الشُّبُهَاتِ فَقَد اسْتَبْرَأَ لِدِيْنِهِ وَعِرْضِهِ، وَمَنْ وَقَعَ فِي الشُّبُهَاتِ وَقَعَ فِي الْحَرَام، كَالرَّاعِي يَرْعَى حَوْلَ الْحِمَى يُوشِكُ أَنْ يَرْتَعَ فِيهِ، أَلاَ وَإِنَّ لِكُلِّ مَلِكٍ حِمًى، أَلاَ وَإِنَّ حِمَى اللهِ مَحَارِمُهُ، أَلاَ وَإِنَّ فِي الْجَسَدِ مُضْغَةً، إِذَا صَلُحَتْ صَلَحَ الْجَسَدُ كُلُّهُ، وَإِذَا فَسَدَتْ فَسَدَ الْجَسَدُ كُلُّهُ، أَلاَ وَهِيَ الْقَلْبُ

رَوَاهُ البُخَارِيُّ وَمُسْلِمٌ

"Truly, what is lawful is evident, and what is unlawful is evident, and in between the two are matters which are doubtful which many people do not know. He who guards against doubtful things keeps his religion and honour blameless, and he who indulges in doubtful things indulges in fact in unlawful things, just as a shepherd who pastures his flock round a preserve will soon pasture them in it. Beware, every king has a preserve, and the things Allah has declared unlawful are His preserves. Beware, in the body there is a flesh; if it is sound, the whole body is sound, and if it is corrupt, the whole body is corrupt, and behold, it is the heart."

and it was snowing outside while i was in theatre. Allah's miracle indeed.

p/s: i'm at home. next to the radiator, with tea in one hand. Alhamdulillah. ;)

bismillah.

contrary to my previous post, i know life is not a fluffy dream. i wish to live in a cottage overlooking the green hills. but i understand that my wish might be too off. especially when there's no such cottages in malaysia. ha.ha.

and i also understand, if we don't get it here, insyaAllah in syurga it's far more better. percayalah pada janji Allah. ;)

i read an ayat this morning

ذَلِكَ جَزَاؤُهُمْ جَهَنَّمُ بِمَا كَفَرُوا وَاتَّخَذُوا آَيَاتِي وَرُسُلِي هُزُوًا

(18:106) Their recompense is Hell for the disbelief they showed and for the mockery they adopted in regard to My Signs and My Messengers.

and it reminded me, Islam yg kita pegang, dan yakin, dan bawa ni bukanlah sesuatu yg main-main.

so buckle up dear self, and get your things sorted. for fear we might be considered disbelievers juga wpun dah mengucap syahadah.

p/s: tukar mode sket dgn lagu2 lama. amik semangat by reminiscing the days in the car where we would set out early in the morning for ODC. zaman mama burn lagu2 nada murni dlm casette. Abah would be driving, and we would be singing in the back. maybe a different song, tp rentak mcm sama. huhu.

of rants and pretty things that are not important

i yearn for adventure. as i look out of the window in this wet weather. with the pitter patter of tiny raindrops on my windowsill. i yearn to go out into the world. into adventure.

as i sip my cup of tea, i am breath-taken by the beauty of the view from my window, from the backdoor of my hospital resident. i never truly appreciated what was there under my nose before. masyaAllah.

the melancholy of my writing. it might be the fever, or it might just be that i am missing some people. i miss talking to them. i miss mama making hot drinks for me at night and we would just talk about things that happened in the day. just the two of us. i don't know what's changed, maybe i became more reserved. or maybe because i'm growing up. i hate it, why does growing up have to make you feel so lonely. leceh. ok, so maybe it's just me. and perhaps the far away distance.

p/s: it's amazing how big a difference opening a bit of the window can do, letting the nice seaside breeze brush against your face. :D

salam.

just a quickie today.

i forgot to return 3 psychiatry books. they were due 6 days ago. the reality suddenly dawn on me on the last day itself. as i was in Weston, the books were in Bristol, so i can't possibly do anything except anticipate a warning. when i returned them today, i was expecting to pay the late fees. i knew it was my mistake. but. i ended up not paying a thing. the librarian told me they allowed a few days of grace before charging. and it was the last day today. Alhamdulillah. Allah. the most Merciful the most Gracious.

so, my lesson for today would be, don't be afraid to endure hardship for the sake of Allah. Allah works in mysterious ways. istiqamahlah dear self, because what we hope for might not be attainable at this instant.

die trying or stop fighting. wuuu~ insyaAllah for every effort there's reward. a step closer to Allah and Jannah. marilah bernafas panjang.

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا
94:5) Indeed, there is ease with hardship.

إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

(94:6) Most certainly, there is ease with hardship.


Eid Mubarak! :)

bismillah.

i'm struck with awe by the mechanics of our body. Allah. beautiful subhanAllah.

i was wondering earlier why does the shoulder tip to the side of the longer leg in someone with unequal leg lengths?

compensatory mechanism.

since i've started on my new rotation, huru-haralah dunia. mutabaah amal pun entah ke mana. so the 'free' time that i have should be filled with things that can hopefully make up for my tardiness.
compensentory mechanism.

وَالْعَصْرِ

By the time!

إِنَّ الْإِنْسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

Lo! Man is in a state of loss;

إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آَمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

save those who have faith and do righteous deeds, and counsel each other to hold on to truth and counsel each other to be steadfast.

Allah.

salam.

i'm back in business insyaAllah. i've been meaning to write for a few days but didn't seem to have the time. i've been thinking, and i think this blog is becoming a bit personal which i feel is quite inappropriate to broadcast to people. and i've been considering to change to a more traditional way which is to write in my diary. but, oh well. we'll see when that is.

em. i started of this blog with the idea that this will be sort of my log book. an account of what i'm feeling or what i've learnt. so in futuristic terms, when i feel that it's time to shut this blog, i will just jump to another blog or whatsoever so my deepest most darkest feelings will still remain anonymous. hee..anyway, enough with the rambling.

of last week

1. i enjoyed last week, i think people are a blessing, especially tetamu. even more, tetamu that are friends. bukankah tetamu itu membawa barakah? and i have been able to enjoy my room in Bristol. which is another thing that's part of me. i have the tendency to decorate my room and enjoy it once in a while. i don't know why? that's just how it is. but slowly i've been letting that desire go. because i don't actually have the right to own anything. no, it's all lent by Allah. i think the value in something is greater when we share it with others.

2. i learnt to correct my niat in everything that we do. in particular, when we help out people. i think that's what separates us from people who don't believe in god. they might help out others because they would want that person's help in the future. something like an unspoken deal. 'if you help me out today, i'll help you out tomorrow' so why are we different? because our cause is different, our aim is bigger. not for people to return our favour, but we want Allah to be pleased with us. something that i have to consciously remind myself.

3. so based on what i've just written, you might think that i'm a horrible person. yes, i might not be beautiful or brilliant. i might not have nice skin or a fluffy accent, but i am working to clean my heart. and to err is human. of which is another lesson i've learnt. which is to be realistic. work realistically, study realistically and plan realistically. it's not wrong to dream big, but again. you have to have a right mindset. in the end what do you want? to have a negara islam tetapi rakyatnya rosak? or to obtain a medical degree but you aren't compassionate about your patients? in the end what is it that you are after?

ok, cuba teka kenapa letak gambar byk2?

jwapannya: boringnya studyyy~

p/s: doakan my exam on Thursday tq ;)