of a farewell

bismillah, 

by the name of Allah ar-Rahman, ar-Rahim..

throughout my twenty something years i have known myself to have an innate quality of being emotionally numb..though it might be deliberate at times..or it might just be a plainly sluggish emotional reaction to certain events before i truly unleash my feelings..

i'll give you an example, during the first night in boarding in form 4, my other 3 roommates cried of homesickness..and i didn't..

it wasn't until 2 weeks later that the homesick fever caught up to me..by then my roommates who were over theirs were the ones who comforted me.

and yesterday, when my family sent me off at KLIA i said to them don't cry, my friends will be there..if they wanted to, please do it in the car..hehe no one did. it was a joke.  once i was in the aero train, my heart wanted to burst out with tears making me want to run back. but i didn't. and so today, am here in Bristol having defeated by my jet lagged self, i am a wake at 2am in the morning. huhu and quite dauntingly waiting for my first day of 4th year tomorrow. please pray everything will go well and smooothly insyaAllah. 

we ols with nek Salmah and tok Om

just a bit about Ramadhan..as the majority of Muslims will definitely be full of sorrow and regret as the month of blessedness ends and awaits for the coming one.  i too, have a certain amount of sadness to see the blessed month pass away. but it wasn't much.  and today, as i was travelling back to Bristol, i wanted to cry because of Allah's mercy having allowed us to go through this year's Ramadhan and how much it has brought to us. having allowed us to spend it with our family at home.  having allowed us to learn.  learn more about ourselves. learn more about our family.  and learn more about Islam.  learn more about You. 

having allowed us to perform our ibadah to You without any difficulties. having allowed us to purify ourselves from our mountains of sins. and having allowed us to reconnect ties of kinship.  for all of this and many more.  Alhamdulillah thummal hamdulillah. truly, La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah. 

aqil at nek salmah's house, 1st raya

adah's bebito and combi with their 5 sons+daughters who were born during nuzul Qur'an

may Allah protect us all insyaAllah.

my love letter, 

nmj