My love note 2.0

lately ni rasa 24 jam tu sngt la singkat..masyaAllah..

dada terasa sesak, emosi terasa lemah, iman terasa goyah..Allah..

ujian demi ujian datang menjengah..sedikit pada diriku tetapi yang besar-besar pada sahabat-sahabat sekelilingku..

dalam kesempitan masa, kasih sayang, hak kawan, hak badan, hak pelajaran terasa ada yang terkorban..Allah..Astaghfirullahaladzim..moga Allah memandu hari-hari ku & memberi petunjuk dalam setiap keputusanku..

sememangnya kelemahan yg besar pada diri ini..

dan lebih pilu bila terasa tidak mampu menjadi sahabat yg meminjamkan telinga & bahu yang teguh kepada mereka..

akhirnya apa yang mampu adalah menyerahkan segalanya pada Allah, utk memelihara mereka..
oh Allah, please take care of my dear seniors..kak Aliyyah, kak Fardia, kak Farah, 'kak' Yaya & Nabun..wherever they are..

dan mungkin yang sepatutnya adalah menyerahkan semua urusan kita pada Allah di awal, pertengahan dan di akhirnya di samping berusaha sebaiknya..mungkin itu tarbiyyah yg tersembunyi utk diriku..kerana sememangnya manusia mempunyai limitasinya..

oh Allah, make us your slaves who are grateful to You and always think good of You. Amin..provide us strength to endure this journey with peace..oh Allah, indeed You are All knowing and only you know best..

i love you all.

my love note,
nad

of a weird learning point

salam..

juma'ah mubarakah everyone!

a bit of a weird rant today..

after being smacked in the face a couple of times this week..(figuratively) i am now in the world of not really giving a hoot of what ppl might think..because I have given some time to consider it, analyse it, thought through it and ended up with some sort of plan..therefore, all the emotions are thus unnecessary atm..

thing is, I am in great despair, and partly it was because I felt I couldn't live up to one's expectations..which is a very very heavy and dis-pleasuring feeling if you've ever felt it before..

and I know that living your life for anyone humanly related is not the way to go..since Allah should be our reason..therefore, after dissecting and doing some deep reflections, it has been made clear that I am actually disappointed in myself not because of being a loser in pleasing other people, but the fact that I haven't carried out or tunaikan hak-hak orang di sekeliling dengan sebaiknya..

and because of this so found revelation, I feel liberated..because time and time again, only you know what you are dealing with and of course Allah knows it better..and only you know what your capability is and if you haven't fulfilled the responsibility as should..i guess what's important is just keep moving on..whether time is on your side or not, be it rain or fall..until you develop a thick skin..for the cause of Allah..

and just a reminder for myself with a goldfish memory, "proactive is the total opposite of reactive" - remember, remember, remember..therefore, begone with all the whispers..

anyway, this is not intended to shoot anyone in the head..it's a learning point for us all or maybe just for myself O_o

anyway, talk to you soon..

wslm,  

nahdiya mj

back to back

oh dear, may Allah help me through this..please pray for me..ameen

of a broken heart

bismillah..

urm..this weekend has been a bit funny..
yesterday we went to Forest of Dean and had a wonderful day mashaAllah....cycling for 3 hours finished off by a picnic....I loved it mashaAllah, the outdoor and riding the bicycle part....going gaga over Allah's creation....was such a nice break from the brick walls and hustle bustle of Bristol city..

Alhamdulillah twas a great adventure...it would have been nicer if there was some pengisian of something..just some time to ponder on Allah's creation more..

but anyway, that's not the part of where my heart got broken..
so we rented a mini bus to bring us back and from the Forest of Dean, and on the way back, the bus driver stopped  at Tesco's for toilet breaks....me, yaya, ain & anis stayed in when everyone else went for the loo..it was around 6.30pm at the time and past maghrib, so yaya asked me if I would want to read ma'thurat with her...and I said yeah sure.  Then suddenly ain & anis sat next to us and said they want to join us as well..it made my glass heart break....comelnya budak2 kecik ni..

it was the same feeling when we recited ma'thurat in the car otw back from DTS.

so many people want Islam, it felt great and sort of inspiring..
 
and today..I told my darling fffy, i wouldn't be their naqibah anymore..and my glass heart broke again for the second time..seriously felt like crying, love them to bits..

i pray this is for the best insyaAllah..and may they find orang2 soleh wherever they go and may they always be guided by You, and keep being close to You and always do good and keep their hearts pure and stay good people insyaAllah amin.

from them, I learnt loads. how to be strong, always inspired to do good in whatever way or form, and about being human.

May good things happen to them insyaAllah.

so if you haven't actually figured it out, my dark dusty hard glass heart got broken by good things insyaAllah....
hopefully the light will shine through easier after the glass wall is broken..

ok, enough with the touchy mouchy lovey dovey...ah~ perasaan la perasaan..ok, takpe kjp je nnt ok balik..human's have resilience you know, that's what we've been taught as medics..

here's some pictures from yesterday,

baiklah, sekian melaporkan, ^^
bye bye i love you..
nahdiya mj