Pooof!

earlier today i felt that i really wanted to blog. but there wasn't anything to write about. and now.

pooof!

how quickly things changed.
i don't really feel like blogging but there's so many things that i think i need to write or else it'll just be another 'pengisian' that'll just dissapear from my mind into thin air.

today was a bank holiday. i'm not really sure what's it for really but it is a holiday in the UK.

and so having finished my exams last week. i don't really have much to do this past weekend. we did have a wonderful outing yesterday. me and friends. we played frisbee and enjoyed the beaming sun.

it was fun no question. still, it felt there was something missing. a longing for something. a feeling of hollowness. well, i guess it has been a while our usrah sessions has been on hold. due to exams and things. so anyway, today i was excited when we were told that Ustaz Mazrul was coming to Bristol to give a talk this evening. at least this week won't totally feel like a waste. hehe. i feel like this week i've just been occupying my time with unnecessary things.

right, just to cut things short. this is a list of what i've gained or what i felt was interesting today.

1. i haven't explored Bristol enough.
i just discovered there's an islamic centre near the sports centre where i play squash. it is basically a men's prayer room. but still, i never knew such things existed in such small places. today, i was fortunate enough to step inside and prayed there with my fellow Bristol friends. anyway, it felt good to be praying at a new musolla. it makes me feel like i am a musafir. like i've just arrived at a new place. but actually it's just about 15 minutes walk from my house. hehe. anyway it brings the feeling that we are actually travellers on the surface of Allah's world. it makes me feel that this world is temporary and that we shouldn't get attached to it too much. just as we are attached to the comfort of our own homes. but actually our homes will get destroyed one day. just as the planets, the sun and all of His other creations. i like the feeling that wherever we are in this world, we are under His surveillance and that He is always there protecting us.

2. Ya Allah, please show mercy on my parents.
Seeing how Ustaz Mazrul and Kak Affa takes care of their children while giving these talks and da'wa just takes my heart away. ah. so touching la. i just can't describe it. their sacrifice, their hardship, their tolerance. may Allah bless them. and may their children become anak2 solehah insyaAllah.
then i wondered how tough it must have been for my parents too. when they were going to all those MSM programs back then. how hard it must be for them to drag us around. take care of us. even though they weren't speakers, but still they had to balance between taking care of us and trying to listen to the talks given.
Alhamdulillah. i'm able to come back and see for myself how challenging it must've been for my parents and appreciate them more than ever now.

3. alright, so this is the part from the talk. ustaz said something about if we do something for Allah's cause then He will grant us rezeki from an unexpected source. so maybe i don't quite remember the saying but that's basically the gist of it. and rezeki can be in many forms. the ones that we usually associate it with is monetary rewards. but actually rezeki Allah is so wide. improvement in our Iman is also rezeki. Ustaz gave an example that if we fail in our exams, we might feel down and all but actually it might be a reminder from Allah that we are falling behind in our deeds, that we need to be more dependent on Him, need to pray more to Him, need to be more ikhlas in our actions. and actually by doing all these things insyaAllah we will improve our Iman. and that is probably the rezeki that He is trying to reward us with. but of course, we mortals are too shallow and too weak to understand all these things especially when we are too dwelled up in our own emotions that we sometimes tend to overlook these things.

4. so the next thing Ustaz explained was about Surah an-Nisa : 135 - 139. but my particular interest was on ayat 137. which Allah says

"Sesungguhnya orang-orang beriman lalu kafir, kemudian beriman lagi, kemudian kafir lagi, lalu bertambahlah kekafirannya, maka Allah tidak akan mengampuni mereka, dan tidak pula menunjukkan mereka jalan (yang lurus)"

let's pray that we won't be those people that Allah says in this ayat. because it is so easy to get swayed into maksiat and jahiliyyah things. so easy. i know. haha. anyway, if we feel that we are falling into the dark side, we have to quickly get away from it, refresh our iman and revive it. this is linked with the next point which is..

5. the importance of having usrah. and the significance of nasihat and caring for each other because of Allah. which is also one of the 7 characters of a Mukmin who will get protection from Allah in Akhirat.

so there's about 3 points about the usrah thingy. but i'm getting sleepy. so i think i'll explain it later.

6. the next thing is about, having the correct niat and purpose of life. well, basically this is the start of Ustaz's talk but because i'm not someone who thinks straightforwardly so i put it last. and so hopefully i will remember it better. since this is actually the basics of everything we do in life. that we are not the body that we project ourselves to be. but we are the souls of which lies inside our physical body. complicated much? hehe. not really la.

so our purpose is of course Akhirat. so what Allah says our duties are beribadat (to submit ourselves) and also to be a khalifah. two things that i need to ask myself is:

am i doing this because of Allah?
have i prepared enough to become a khalifah?

okay, i think that's basically it. i'm so needing my sleep rite now. eheh. tulah, lain kali lupe lagi nak bawak pen. kan da kene type. (syndrome malas nk hand write). hahah.

ciao people.