of a bigger picture

hehe.
okay, i'm a bit irresponsible. mybe a lot.

i know there's the 'hehe'. not that i'm proud of it.

i just think i'll be too bummed out to punish myself because of this. a more positive approach would be to move toward a less irresponsible me. ^^

***
dear self,
please be more disciplined. there's so much more to do out there. i know you are feeling trapped inside this state with mundane stuff to do.

but before you seek adventure you need to make sure you are good to go. one hurdle to conquer at a time my dear.

a potential working space in the future? yes, this my room where I act as a GP and consult real patients. that's my book, my cup of coffe and a slice of apricot cake which a kind patient baked.

felt so tempted to nick a few leaflets..

weird but true, 

nad

opps..

I just googled the distance to lake district for PMS tomorrow.  surprise surprise, huhuh, apparently its 4 hours drive.  which actually means 5 to 6 hours in total since it includes some stops at services for a taste of Costa coffee and loo breaks. waa. nangis, br tau. 

i don't really mind i think, it's just that i need to be on duty straight after, and knowing the not-so-strong me, i might be in for a very heavyweight work load.  I am one of AJK masakan PMS and I do need to start duty right on the spot. 

myb i should do a bit of Jillian exercise today just to toughen things up. ;D and by things, i do mean myself. just pointing out the obvious ;p blerrrgh. merepeks saje. sudah terlambat. esok mau gerak.

of hope

Depression

As much as I hate to succumb to failure, or being depressed at the very least, I find that I am currently in a state of low mood.  I don't think I have failed, but I couldn't quite get through the feeling of depression.  It might be that I just feel a bit lonely and home sick at the moment. Terrible terrible feeling, oh dear. 

Oh Allah, I know You hear me and are close by, please find me a motivation. and I will try my best insyaAllah. :)

of a break.

"there's always something to talk about."
Encik McLellan, kamu ini sgt baik, dan bijak, dan sgt lucu. hihi ^^
saya rasa kamu GP yg paling cool di situ dan cikgu yang paling banyak ajar sy, contohnya centor criteria, jenis-jenis knee bursitis, treatment of gout, primary prevention of cardiovascular disease, importance of ordering tests if it changes management, best practice in nursing home, paronychia, ingtkan saya phalen's and tinnel's test, difference of nursing and residential home. 

terima kasih.

my note kepada cikgu,
Nahdiya

of an energiser

bismillah,

yesterday was daurah in Cardiff, it was lovely and energizing.

what did I learn?
> better to beramal while we still can. I like the reminder Abg Azim gave at the end..

The Prophet (pbuh) said:
“Take benefit of five before five:
your youth before your old age,
your health before your sickness,
your wealth before your poverty,
your free-time before your preoccupation,
and your life before your death.”

stressing particularly on the first one. Youth. We are young. and while we are still given these priviledges of this age let's take advantage of it..no, no..not by wasting it on booze or partying, but exhausting it for good and benefit of mankind.

while we were in Darul Isra' I found this on the notice board.

It's interesting to see kesyumulan Islam. Talking about dementia in masjid :)

> I also like the point when we were discussing, Kak Hanim pointed out most of us have reservations to 'commit' to tarbiyyah is because the rewards are intangible and unseen. (i.e: pahala & change) and the rewards can only be felt by people who have joined tarbiyyah, so basically, one can only experience it if they go through it.

> Dakwah and a Muslim are inseparable.  Just like a pen and the cap. and our dakwah is dakwah hati..refer to Abasy As-sisii book
(ok, don't think i'll explain this more due to time constraint)

> Creativity as a Da'i

> erm, and I've also started GP which is an hour's drive.  I have to compete with tractors and horses on the road. On a sunny day, it can be really worthwhile.  On a late morning (which has been the case for several mornings due to a dysfunctioning hp alarm clock), the beauty just suddenly disappears.  And the feeling of just running over them creeps up. But of course, I won't be able to do that.

after 30 mins drive through this, we will later reach my GP surgery in Calne. Yes, health services also reaches farmers :)

my random updates,

nad

Tis the season

first time in 4 years I went to Bath Christmas Market. and it was Hani's 23rd birthday today. May Allah bless her.  I bought her something I would love myself.  as a borderline shopaholic, it is one of my interventions to teach myself and to treat my condition. lols (p/s: missing in picture Mus, Jiayin, Charuni, Natasa).

Podium parking lot, B2, Bath

a cheesy treat. Cheese & Cranbery. yums!

****

What have I learned today?

1) Something about myself, I love people but I'm not so good when buying gifts and organising stuff. maybe something I could work on.
2) I should think more about others and always be kind.
3) On a more general note, worry about things you can change and don't worry about things that are done. :)

Less than three,
nad

of 500,000 times more.

bismillah, 

yesterday -> Gaza: through our eyes by Dr. Zin Kandar. Venur: St. Michael's on the Mount

Alhamdulillah the turn out was overwhelming, people came from Portsmouth, Cardiff and of course the very far Bristol.  i think it was probably around ~150 people plus kids.

What were the learning points I gained?

> from the title itself, it's a retorical question on what perspectives are we using to view these issues : humanitarian, iman, ethical, or so on. 

> medan utk beramal bermacam-macam dan sgt besar. if we are not prepared to physically protect Palestine, the least is with funds and doa. From the funds insyaAllah many sectors can be developed (e.g bread factory, education - hufaz, lessons in mosques etc, dairy production to make cheese etc) it's like a modified saying,

"give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day, give a man a fishing rod and you'll feed him a lifetime"

> examples of Muslim who are walking the walk, and not just talking the talk are those who live in Palestine.  seeing from the how the Government works to the public's attitude, they are those who have a heart-close relationship to Qur'an and lives Islam fully.  one note to think about, even in the worst of conditions, we don't hear about any social issues happening in their society.  Inner peace. And it is not surprising that it relates back to dakwah & tarbiyah.

> It's true that Palestinians have a lot to teach us on how to live.  

I think where I sat is an invasion of this man's social skin. 

yours truly,
nmj

a bit of catching up

Bismillah, 

Love can conquer all. and I might be a very strong believer of it. I am learning, how to become a Muslim or a person at the very least. And I think I haven't really lived as a human being. The best of creation as Allah puts it in His book, and do I actually believe it?

The once cheesy phrase which I used to think, "Tak kenal maka tak cinta", is making more sense now.  

This little girl, whom I really love and care about, and I hope its because the truth that she seeks. 

I pray that we will both find it insyaAllah.  

And the time, time that Allah has entrusted us upon, I pray I'll be able to use it more wisely.  oh Allah.

****

2 things I am training myself to do:

1) Live life to please Allah, then you'll find, you'll also please people around you.

2) Be aware of Allah's present and believe in Him, as you are aware of the wind.  "You can't see it, but you can feel it close and you know with absolute certainty it exists".

My warmish chilly room in Royal United Hospital, Bath

-my weekly rambling, 

Nahdiya Jan