Wednesday 15 September 2010

salam.

i'm currently writing like mad these days like i'm on fire-hhh. i blame the psychiatry unit and all the reflection i'm supposed to do. and of course the more time i'm spending alone at the hospital.


muhasabah.

you know how we tend to whine about things. how things didn't go as plan, or how we wished things should have gone the other way or how it should've been better or easier instead? or just hoping if things would just turn up in front of our faces rather than going through the embarrassment of attaining it? tough luck. stop whining and count your blessings.

i realised today and i'm grateful to Allah that my life isn't always with a silver spoon in my mouth. and how most of the times things just don't go as expected. because from the struggle we've had, that's how we learn. that's how we relate to what others are feeling. that's how we help ourselves and care for others. that's how we experience emotions. happiness. angst. fear (of being asked by consultants). satisfaction. empathy. hope. and that's how we know that we ARE living.

Allah has determined what is best for us.
and there's so much more going on in this world than what is in our perfect little homes and lovely family.

but from all of this, what i'm trying to say is life is a 'life-long' learning process. redundancy in experience is inevitable. mistakes are inescapable. but learning not to repeat the mistakes is what's important.

and that's, how we grow.


5:95 - ...Allah telah memaafkan apa yg telah lalu (yakni membunuh haiwan sebelum turun ayat yg mengharamkan ini) Dan brgsiapa kembali mengerjakannya, niscaya Allah akan menyiksanya. Dan Allah Mahaperkasa, memiliki kekuasaan utk menyiksa.

p/s: some may say that i'm hard-headed, that i always want to win an argument. i remember someone saying this from kmb still. funnily, my naqibah said the same thing. i think i'm exercising my freedom of thought. perhaps i'll never learn.

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