Allah.

فَبِأَيِّ آَلَاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ

(55:23) Which of the wonders of your Lord’s power will you twain – you men and jinn – then deny?

وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِنْ شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَئِنْ كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ

(14:7) And remember also that your Lord forewarned, `If you be grateful I will increase My favours on you, and if you be ungrateful (you should know that) My chastisement is severe indeed'!"

sometimes i forget. how do i be a grateful servant?

homesick. nak nangis. x bes.

granma n caterpillar

makcik kecik n caterpillar

the gang


pembuli kecik

caterpillar yg menangis

caterpillar isap jari

budak nakal yg sempat menyelit

i miss them.

of nociceptors and body chemicals

i'm in pain. physical pain. ouuuu..w..
i don't really know why writing this down would help..just needed an outlet to express the pain. ouuu...w.. can you hear me? huhu

قلب بين يدي قلب و بيد الله كل قلب

عين ترعى عينا، وعين الله ترعى

كلمة طيبة صدقة

تبسمك لأخيك صدقه

كل معروف صدقة

اللهم اشف شفاءً لا يغادر سقماً

A soul/ heart in the hands of other souls/ hearts,
And all the hearts are in God's Hands.
Eyes looking after(nurturing) other Eyes, and God's eyes look after( and nurture) us all.
A kind word is a charity.
A smile for your brother is charity.
All good works are charity.
Oh God heal us in manner which leaves no sickness behind

Amin..

^_^ -nmj

of a dream dialogue

bismillah

i think i've been slacking off a lot lately. okay, i should scratch the THINK. and i'm saying this not with any hint of proudness at all but mainly disapointment. looking back at the times when i could have done more useful things. Allahummaghfirli and forgive me for Your time that i've wasted.

i think the slacking off goes in terms of my study, of my personal development, of my mutabaah amal. Syed Qutb wrote in tafsir al-Asr, what is iman? while we may have a lot of linguistic definitions for iman, it is actually the relationship with Allah. having a poor relationship with Allah consequently results in low iman.

i would want to say and give excuses for the times i've been playing around that i was not in the right mental state, that i was being tested and i could not handle it especially in this cold with no sun where being close to becoming a hyperchondriac i seriously believe i have SAD syndrome. but i'm thinking again in the future, on the day of judgement when all creations will bow down to Allah, will i be able to say, "Allah, i went through mountains of ice and swam through oceans of fire for You. will You be happy with my offerings and accept me as one of Your obedient slaves?" (pardon me for my random metaphors) i truly, madly, deeply would want to say this.

Allahumma, please forgive this rambling slave that loves to write loads but rarely acts on it, that always wastes Your time, and procrastinates Her work. (especially her ssc) but is slowly finding her reason to live and becoming a muslimah. Allah, guide me and provide me strength ya Allah. (oh, and for my kakak usrah too..and all the muslim/ahs in this world too. insyaAllah)

"kerana seharusnya mempunyai visi dan misi yg jelas itu mampu utk melonjakkan amal dan menetapkan kaki utk terus istiqamah."

insyaAllah.

Allah.

am I failing Allah's test of obedience?

please nooooo~ I want to succeed Allah.

of life on earth

Imam Hasan al-Banna pernah ditanya, "Kenapa Anda tidak menyusun buku?" Beliau menjawab, "Tugas saya bukanlah untuk menyusun buku , karena buku biasa-biasanya akan diletakkan di perpustakaan dan sedikit sekali org yg mau membacanya. lain halnya dgn seorg muslim, ia adalah 'buku yg senantiasa terbuka' ke mana pun ia berjalan, itu adalah dakwah."

****

وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَا قَبْلَكَ مِنَ الْمُرْسَلِينَ إِلَّا إِنَّهُمْ لَيَأْكُلُونَ الطَّعَامَ وَيَمْشُونَ فِي الْأَسْوَاقِ وَجَعَلْنَا بَعْضَكُمْ لِبَعْضٍ فِتْنَةً أَتَصْبِرُونَ وَكَانَ رَبُّكَ بَصِيرًا

(25:20) O Muhammad, all the Messengers whom We sent before you also ate food and moved about in the streets. In fact, We have made you all a means of test for one another. Will you show patience? for your Lord sees everything.

bismillah.

i hope Allah will get me through this. i love them people Allah, tq Allah. in times of despair, good company (bi'ah solehah) is the remedy. ;)

dear self, be a good muslimah to help your self and others insyaAllah.

can you get out of the way please? pretty pretty pleaaaaase..

snippets of the big day (27/12/10)






and the new chapter begins..a more exciting and fruitful chapter insyaAllah..

bismillah.

bismillah

Allah.
I think it might be time for me to grow up.

إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّى يُغَيِّرُوا مَا بِأَنْفُسِهِمْ...

"....Allah does not change a people's lot unless they themselves change their own characteristics.."
(13:11)

Allahumma, let me do it solely for You.
biiznillah.

(post PMS'10 - the best PMS ever)

of winter warmers..

two words: melayan perasaan.
gediknyeeeeer!

yes, blame it all on the warm winter clothes, extra pairs of socks, thick hoodies and granpa PJ's. ah. snuggled up in heavy garments is making me lazzyyyy!
finished reading the twenties girl. a feel good bimbo book. so now, i should do my work.

i went to get myself some wellies yesterday. i wasn't confident that i could walk safely on the icy pavements with my non-equipped for snow shoes. i might seem like a hypercondriac at the time but i do have a reason. i slipped down the stairs in my house the other day, and injured my back muscles. okay, so some people would just call it a bruise. *thump* and another thump. and i hit the ground. i rolled over and laid flat on my back until the pain subsided. yes, my housemate was the witness. and she was laughing all the way. like, seriously it was like someone had just given her an extra high dose of entonox. i'm sure it was quite comical but seriously, after learning MDEMO, bones are one thing you don't wana mess about. sure you can rejoin it, but the risk of OA in the bone after a fracture will surely increase. but then, 'im sure it's nothing. insyaAllah.

i'm just faffing around because i don't wana do my work....
....
....
...
but i know i should better get a start on the reading for PMS.
make doa everything will be alright insyaAllah.

Allah, help me from becoming a lazy bum.

viva night. Palestine. 4.12.10






Allahumma, peliharalah al-Aqsa daripada ancaman kejam zionis. daripada manusia-manusia yg tak berhati perut yg membunuh tanpa belas kasihan.

satukanlah hati-hati kami, persiapkanlah diri kami serta kuatakanlah iman kami agar dpt syahid keranaMu.
insyaAllah.


p/s: kerana pada dasarnya, adalah isu iman, bukan hanya isu kemanusiaan.

of smelly sox and a duvet monster

sometimes, i forget, that love is always there although you don't see it as often. just as Allah is always there. guiding you through. we just have to make the small steps. all the best!

xx,
nad mj

of deliberation

when the key of acceptance comes down to intention.
lillahita'ala.

مَثَلُ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا بِرَبِّهِمْ أَعْمَالُهُمْ كَرَمَادٍ اشْتَدَّتْ بِهِ الرِّيحُ فِي يَوْمٍ عَاصِفٍ لَا يَقْدِرُونَ مِمَّا كَسَبُوا عَلَى شَيْءٍ ذَلِكَ هُوَ الضَّلَالُ الْبَعِيدُ

(14:18) The works of those who disbelieved may be likened, to the ashes which the wind scatters on a stormy day. They shall not be able to gain anything from what they did. This is the extreme deviation.

وَالَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا أَعْمَالُهُمْ كَسَرَابٍ بِقِيعَةٍ يَحْسَبُهُ الظَّمْآَنُ مَاءً حَتَّى إِذَا جَاءَهُ لَمْ يَجِدْهُ شَيْئًا وَوَجَدَ اللَّهَ عِنْدَهُ فَوَفَّاهُ حِسَابَهُ وَاللَّهُ سَرِيعُ الْحِسَابِ

(24:39) (On the other hand,) the deeds of those who disbelieved, maybe likened to a mirage in a waterless desert, which the thirsty one took for water; but when he reached there he found nothing to drink; nay, he found there Allah Who settled his full account, and Allah is very swift at reckoning.

Allah.
Allah. Allah.
may it become something than a nothing.

when i feel so useless..

i can only pray that Allah helps you through.
the facade. the green mask you put on. is not so green in the end.
the colourless paint splashes out from the bucket.

it is never fair. life is never fair. but never is it a fairytale.

i hope it will turn out well. a typical consoling statement.

all the torments and trials you face, may Allah reward it greater.
i seek Allah to give you courage, to give you strength, to give you the ability to see the beauty in the ugly. and keep you strong. to face the crowd when the cheering ends.

i pray your love will be renewed. with a stronger love, from a creation to the creator. and from The creator to His creation. because you held on to Him. His love, more than a thousand couples put together. and an ending with a happily ever after. in Jannah, one day, insyaAllah.

xx,
nad mj

of subliminal feelings

tafahhum. snap your fingers and behold. its not as easy.
only 3 years it took me. and still counting.
may it be a step forward for us, to keep on this path, never failing to remind one another. with truth and patience.

وَالْعَصْرِ

إِنَّ الْإِنْسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آَمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْ

insyaAllah.

my love note, xx
nad mj

haruskah membesar? haruskah? haruskah?
okay, retorical question.

salam. :) :) :)

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Charity is prescribed for each descendant of Adam every day the sun rises.” He was then asked: “From what do we give charity every day?” The Prophet answered: “The doors of goodness are many…enjoining good, forbidding evil, removing harm from the road, listening to the deaf, leading the blind, guiding one to the object of his need, hurrying with the strength of one’s legs to one in sorrow who is asking for help, and supporting the feeble with the strength of one’s arms–all of these are charity prescribed for you.” He also said: “Your smile for your brother is charity.” - Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 3, Number 98

and also,

Daripada Abu Hurairah r.a., katanya: “Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda: ‘Tidak akan masuk syurga kamu semua sehingga kamu beriman dan tidak akan dinamakan beriman kamu semua sehingga kamu semua saling cinta-mencintai. Tidakkah kamu semua suka jika ku tunjukkan kepadamu semua sesuatu yang jikalau kamu semua lakukan tentu kamu akan saling cinta-mencintai? Iaitu sebarkanlah salam sesama mu’.” (Hadith Riwayat Muslim)

since i am in my A&E week, i usually feel a bit upset when people (read: doctors) don't smile at me when they see me. i don't blame them though, i know their super busy and i'm just a speck on the wall.(yes, this is slightly exaggerating) so as a response, i wouldn't smile at them either. which then makes me feel bad because i wanted to smile but them not smiling at me just makes me not wanting to smile back. ok, so the hadith is supposed to remind me to just smile..cos it's a sunnah..;)

other things i've learned today:

1. don't be a fatalistic Muslim. be pleased with what Allah has willed and what is due to come..but, in the meantime, hard work is required.
2. i need to cultivate my relationship with Allah.
3. sacrifice is part of our submission to Allah.

yours truly,
nad

geared up

as part of my unwinding therapy i will now write about what i've been doing today. i just got back from A&E. Alhamdulillah, i managed to spend about 7 hours there. and if you get the vibe, i am quite proud of this achievement. the 1st time i went in the department, i just poked my head in, saw that no one took notice of me, lingered for 10 minutes and went straight out again. i hate it when there's no one assigned to teach and you're just left running around like a little puppy wiggling its tail and trying to get attention from its master. but i guess no one does. so yeah, today was good, i'm finally getting used to going to different doctors asking if i can tag along with them. hmm..A&E..probably not for me. i mean it's interesting once you do get to see a patient. but, trying to juggle 4 patients at one time is just to much for my brain, especially if the patients are ranging from an asthmatic 5 year old to a 75 year old man with alcoholic withdrawal and a GCS of 3. i know females are known for multitasking, but i might not be the friendliest under this much stress. so A&E..not. :)

just the fact that i've been writing rubbish recently, i might try to write something worthwhile for now.

i was reading the Qur'an this morning, and i read through my favourite ayat:

وَلَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيْنَيْكَ إِلَى مَا مَتَّعْنَا بِهِ أَزْوَاجًا مِنْهُمْ زَهْرَةَ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا لِنَفْتِنَهُمْ فِيهِ وَرِزْقُ رَبِّكَ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَى

(20:131) And do not cast an envious look at the worldly property We have bestowed on different kinds of people, for We have given them all that to put them to trial, and the lawful provision of your Lord is better and more lasting.

***

i think it is soothing knowing that everyone has their own provision's determined by Allah. be it good or bad. and with the provisions given there is always responsibilities involved.

Allah. i'm tired. i hope today is not sia-sia. amin.

p/s: new phrases: chuffed to bits, bogged down, bog standard, barn-door case.

Hadith Qudsi 35:

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

Our Lord (glorified and exalted be He) descends each night to the earth's sky when there remains the final third of the night, and He says: Who is saying a prayer to Me that I may answer it? Who is asking something of Me that I may give it him? Who is asking forgiveness of Me that I may forgive him?

It was related by al-Bukhari (also by Muslim, Malik, at-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud).

In a version by Muslim the Hadith ends with the words:

And thus He continues till [the light of] dawn shines.

Hadith Qudsi 22:

On the authority of Abu Sa'id (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

Let not any one of you belittle himself. They said: O Messenger of Allah, how can any one of us belittle himself? He said: He finds a matter concerning Allah about which he should say something, and he does not say [it], so Allah (mighty and sublime be He) says to him on the Day of Resurrection: What prevented you from saying something about such-and-such and such-and-such? He say: [It was] out of fear of people. Then He says: Rather it is I whom you should more properly fear.

It was related by Ibn Majah with a sound chain of authorities.

a new set of words ;)

1. nip to the loo
2. my knee suddenly went
3. some tidbits for you
4. sloans=rahs
5. chuck it in the bin
6. pop around
7. feeling fizzy
8. feeling crummy (miserable)
9. a crummy old coat
10. a flimsy excuse

what have i learned this week?

1. that everyone should be respected. for their own attitudes, their own character and more over their own opinions of course.

2. don't be too hasty in judging a person. when, i'm not given the authority to judge anyone in the first place. a person shouldn't be segregated by their choice of clothing or other lifestyle choices, but rather get to know who they really are inside.

3. i should have proper work ethics. especially in giving usrahs. i have to be more passionate please. and not to mention organised as well.

4. confidence is a must. work on it.

of magical movies

hi world.
so i might risk exposing myself for being a loser. again.

huhu. i'm in love..
with the latest Disney's animation film Tangled. :D just finished watching it. and how do i know it's a good movie? because it makes me tingling all over and dreaming of adventure again. cheesy stuff. ;p

i used to like watching Beauty and the Beast when i was about 5. okay, scratch that, maybe i loooved watching it. mama said that i used to watch it like a gazillion times. i kept rewinding the video again and again. mama said she wanted to throw up by the sight of it. but, determined as i am. i was fine with that, as long as i could watch Belle sing. and of course, i've memorised all the songs. hehe loserr..

so yeah, back to this movie, it's just great. i think it surely stands a chance to compete with Beauty and the Beast. in my records that is. :D

top 5 animation films so far:
1. beauty and the beast
2. lion king
3. anastasia
4. finding nemo
5. mulan

and don't ask me why.

p/s: so i know Disney products should be boycotted. but i think what we can learn from them is their work ethics. they're very determined and passionate about what they do. and detailed as well to add to that matter. i love the animal impressions in lion king and the avalanche in mulan was extraordinary. oh no, i'm falling in love, again.

of once upon a time

p/s: before it becomes obsolete after 35 years :)

of a crappy-wonderful day

bismillah.

so what did i do today? i went into fracture clinic..it was good..and bad..

good, because Allah gave me inspiration from a muslim orthopaedics surgeon. i didn't know he was muslim. haha. i knew he was a great doctor before i even met him because i overhead nurses and surgeons talking about how good he was in the coffee room. eavesdropping much? ;p people kept calling him Cally, so i though it was his name..so when i officially met with him today he introduced himself, and his name is actually Khaled..haha..these people and their pronunciations..:p

bad, because i was asked questions from another consultant, which, i didn't manage to answer. i had a vague idea of what it is, but because i didn't understand it enough i couldn't tell him anything. so, i need to review my learning skills. if i'm not able to explain things to people it means that i don't really understand it, right?
but anyway, after my sad attempt of answering, he taught me what it was. ow yeah, and the question was on compartment syndrome.

so what have i learned today? i hope to be great in my career. a great doctor, a great person, a great da'ie. i want to be like Ibnu Sina, Ibnu Khaldun etc from young, at the age of 10 already have the entire Qur'an in their head. and learnt about Islam, from an earlier stage before venturing into other areas of knowledge. so their fundamentals were strong from the beginning. mashaAllah.

conclusion:

it's not wrong to be great at what we do, family wise, career wise or study wise, but that's not the only thing we should be good at. they are our ibadah too. but the priorities in life should always take precedence before anything else. being a Muslim first insyaAllah.

وَمَا خَلَقْتُ الْجِنَّ وَالْإِنْسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ

(51:56) I created the jinn and humans for nothing else but that they may serve Me

let's pray that Allah will make us great Muslims and da'ies as well insyaAllah. ;)

bismillah.

first of all, i have noticed that this song is a bit cheesy. oh well, i still like it.

secondly, i heard prof tariq ramadan's talk at ISNA (on youtube) and he truly is an exceptional speaker. his ideas are very clear and very relevant in today's time. and i feel that the problem has always been at the back of my mind, but it is reassuring for him to point out what was actually the case.

what i found interesting was what he said about knowledge. "We should use the knowledge to be close to Allah, and we should get knowledge to serve, not to be served...We are not seeking knowledge to be served, we are not seeking knowledge for our ego.."

so if what we're learning is not making us closer to Allah, maybe there's something that needs to be fixed.

thirdly, knowing the theory and learning to practice or apply it are two definitely different aspects. and i think the endpoint for learning a theory is for us to actually apply it. which reminds me, i need to learn to do the musculoskeletal examination, and to make sure i really learn it is to be able to practice it on people. so who wants to volunteer being my subject? ^.^

مَنْ عَمِلَ صَالِحًا فَلِنَفْسِهِ وَمَنْ أَسَاءَ فَعَلَيْهَا ثُمَّ إِلَى رَبِّكُمْ تُرْجَعُونَ

(45:15) Whoever acts righteously, does so to his own good; and whoever commits an evil will suffer its consequence. All of you will then be sent back to your Lord.

warm wishes! xx

of someone who likes to write nonsense

bismillah.

salam. hi :)
so yeah, yesterday i got to experience a few miracles. aside from still living. Alhamdulillah. i got to scrub in a surgery. my first scrub in. it was a total knee replacement. hehe. and an Achilles tendon..something..can't remember.

i've noticed, the orthopaedics are somehow mostly made up from the attractive cohort of the population. not that i'm saying it has any importance. just a purely neutral finding. the best thing is, the head of the department is a lady. bossing all these rugby player sized men. and to make things more interesting, she's even tinier than me. (okay, you may not agree, but in this part of the world, i am undersized). hehe. go lady power!

okay, enough with the jabbering..seeing the surgeons in action i can now understand why doctors and especially surgeons would see the body as a mechanical thing rather than seeing a person with emotions and...stuff. because frankly that is what it is. by giving anaesthetics all sensation of pain is lost. leaving the limb as a dead structure where you can tear it open and do all sorts of things. wonderful isn't it?

إِنَّ الْحَلاَلَ بَيِّنٌ، وَإِنَّ الْحَرَامَ بَيِّنٌ، وَبَيْنَهُمَا أُمُورٌ مُشْتَبِهَاتٌ لاَيَعْلَمُهُنَّ كَثِيرٌ مِنَ النَّاسِ، فَمَنْ اتَّقَى الشُّبُهَاتِ فَقَد اسْتَبْرَأَ لِدِيْنِهِ وَعِرْضِهِ، وَمَنْ وَقَعَ فِي الشُّبُهَاتِ وَقَعَ فِي الْحَرَام، كَالرَّاعِي يَرْعَى حَوْلَ الْحِمَى يُوشِكُ أَنْ يَرْتَعَ فِيهِ، أَلاَ وَإِنَّ لِكُلِّ مَلِكٍ حِمًى، أَلاَ وَإِنَّ حِمَى اللهِ مَحَارِمُهُ، أَلاَ وَإِنَّ فِي الْجَسَدِ مُضْغَةً، إِذَا صَلُحَتْ صَلَحَ الْجَسَدُ كُلُّهُ، وَإِذَا فَسَدَتْ فَسَدَ الْجَسَدُ كُلُّهُ، أَلاَ وَهِيَ الْقَلْبُ

رَوَاهُ البُخَارِيُّ وَمُسْلِمٌ

"Truly, what is lawful is evident, and what is unlawful is evident, and in between the two are matters which are doubtful which many people do not know. He who guards against doubtful things keeps his religion and honour blameless, and he who indulges in doubtful things indulges in fact in unlawful things, just as a shepherd who pastures his flock round a preserve will soon pasture them in it. Beware, every king has a preserve, and the things Allah has declared unlawful are His preserves. Beware, in the body there is a flesh; if it is sound, the whole body is sound, and if it is corrupt, the whole body is corrupt, and behold, it is the heart."

and it was snowing outside while i was in theatre. Allah's miracle indeed.

p/s: i'm at home. next to the radiator, with tea in one hand. Alhamdulillah. ;)

bismillah.

contrary to my previous post, i know life is not a fluffy dream. i wish to live in a cottage overlooking the green hills. but i understand that my wish might be too off. especially when there's no such cottages in malaysia. ha.ha.

and i also understand, if we don't get it here, insyaAllah in syurga it's far more better. percayalah pada janji Allah. ;)

i read an ayat this morning

ذَلِكَ جَزَاؤُهُمْ جَهَنَّمُ بِمَا كَفَرُوا وَاتَّخَذُوا آَيَاتِي وَرُسُلِي هُزُوًا

(18:106) Their recompense is Hell for the disbelief they showed and for the mockery they adopted in regard to My Signs and My Messengers.

and it reminded me, Islam yg kita pegang, dan yakin, dan bawa ni bukanlah sesuatu yg main-main.

so buckle up dear self, and get your things sorted. for fear we might be considered disbelievers juga wpun dah mengucap syahadah.

p/s: tukar mode sket dgn lagu2 lama. amik semangat by reminiscing the days in the car where we would set out early in the morning for ODC. zaman mama burn lagu2 nada murni dlm casette. Abah would be driving, and we would be singing in the back. maybe a different song, tp rentak mcm sama. huhu.

of rants and pretty things that are not important

i yearn for adventure. as i look out of the window in this wet weather. with the pitter patter of tiny raindrops on my windowsill. i yearn to go out into the world. into adventure.

as i sip my cup of tea, i am breath-taken by the beauty of the view from my window, from the backdoor of my hospital resident. i never truly appreciated what was there under my nose before. masyaAllah.

the melancholy of my writing. it might be the fever, or it might just be that i am missing some people. i miss talking to them. i miss mama making hot drinks for me at night and we would just talk about things that happened in the day. just the two of us. i don't know what's changed, maybe i became more reserved. or maybe because i'm growing up. i hate it, why does growing up have to make you feel so lonely. leceh. ok, so maybe it's just me. and perhaps the far away distance.

p/s: it's amazing how big a difference opening a bit of the window can do, letting the nice seaside breeze brush against your face. :D

salam.

just a quickie today.

i forgot to return 3 psychiatry books. they were due 6 days ago. the reality suddenly dawn on me on the last day itself. as i was in Weston, the books were in Bristol, so i can't possibly do anything except anticipate a warning. when i returned them today, i was expecting to pay the late fees. i knew it was my mistake. but. i ended up not paying a thing. the librarian told me they allowed a few days of grace before charging. and it was the last day today. Alhamdulillah. Allah. the most Merciful the most Gracious.

so, my lesson for today would be, don't be afraid to endure hardship for the sake of Allah. Allah works in mysterious ways. istiqamahlah dear self, because what we hope for might not be attainable at this instant.

die trying or stop fighting. wuuu~ insyaAllah for every effort there's reward. a step closer to Allah and Jannah. marilah bernafas panjang.

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا
94:5) Indeed, there is ease with hardship.

إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

(94:6) Most certainly, there is ease with hardship.


Eid Mubarak! :)

bismillah.

i'm struck with awe by the mechanics of our body. Allah. beautiful subhanAllah.

i was wondering earlier why does the shoulder tip to the side of the longer leg in someone with unequal leg lengths?

compensatory mechanism.

since i've started on my new rotation, huru-haralah dunia. mutabaah amal pun entah ke mana. so the 'free' time that i have should be filled with things that can hopefully make up for my tardiness.
compensentory mechanism.

وَالْعَصْرِ

By the time!

إِنَّ الْإِنْسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

Lo! Man is in a state of loss;

إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آَمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

save those who have faith and do righteous deeds, and counsel each other to hold on to truth and counsel each other to be steadfast.

Allah.

salam.

i'm back in business insyaAllah. i've been meaning to write for a few days but didn't seem to have the time. i've been thinking, and i think this blog is becoming a bit personal which i feel is quite inappropriate to broadcast to people. and i've been considering to change to a more traditional way which is to write in my diary. but, oh well. we'll see when that is.

em. i started of this blog with the idea that this will be sort of my log book. an account of what i'm feeling or what i've learnt. so in futuristic terms, when i feel that it's time to shut this blog, i will just jump to another blog or whatsoever so my deepest most darkest feelings will still remain anonymous. hee..anyway, enough with the rambling.

of last week

1. i enjoyed last week, i think people are a blessing, especially tetamu. even more, tetamu that are friends. bukankah tetamu itu membawa barakah? and i have been able to enjoy my room in Bristol. which is another thing that's part of me. i have the tendency to decorate my room and enjoy it once in a while. i don't know why? that's just how it is. but slowly i've been letting that desire go. because i don't actually have the right to own anything. no, it's all lent by Allah. i think the value in something is greater when we share it with others.

2. i learnt to correct my niat in everything that we do. in particular, when we help out people. i think that's what separates us from people who don't believe in god. they might help out others because they would want that person's help in the future. something like an unspoken deal. 'if you help me out today, i'll help you out tomorrow' so why are we different? because our cause is different, our aim is bigger. not for people to return our favour, but we want Allah to be pleased with us. something that i have to consciously remind myself.

3. so based on what i've just written, you might think that i'm a horrible person. yes, i might not be beautiful or brilliant. i might not have nice skin or a fluffy accent, but i am working to clean my heart. and to err is human. of which is another lesson i've learnt. which is to be realistic. work realistically, study realistically and plan realistically. it's not wrong to dream big, but again. you have to have a right mindset. in the end what do you want? to have a negara islam tetapi rakyatnya rosak? or to obtain a medical degree but you aren't compassionate about your patients? in the end what is it that you are after?