of something so close

salam alaykum

Alhamdulillah thummalhamdulillah thumalhamdulillahirabbil alamin.
Praise to Allah who has granted us yet another day to carry on in this world living our life doing whatever we please, either things that we feel will benefit us, or bring trouble to us. this life, a test, which Allah has told us in his book, 29:2 "Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, "We believe", and that they will not be tested?

Alhamdulillah for many things. for the air that i'm breathing, for the clothes that i'm wearing, for the family that i'm having, for the roof that's over my head, for the health that i'm given, for the wonderful flowers that i'm seeing, for the birds that are chirping, for the fans that are working, for the air-conditioners that are cooling, for the air sirap limau that i'm drinking. for the people that i'm meeting, for the knowledge that i'm learning, for the 'new' world that i'm seeing, for His hidayah that i'm thanking, and the list carries on...Alhamdulillah.

yesterday ustaz AO said, "ana belum kagum lg pada antum skrg ni, tp bila antum dah kerja, dah ada keluarga dan ana lihat lg 10, 20 tahun muka-muka antum masih lg bersama2 kita di jalan dakwah, baru ana tabik". and he smiled.

a shot right through the heart. but i know exactly what he meant.

yaAllah. kuatkanlah hatiku di jalan ini. teguhkanlah kakiku utk maju yaAllah.

ihsan atau alasan?

bismillah
ok. skip cite psl umrah.
bila duduk sorang2..malam2..di kawasan yg x berapa terang..pernah x terasa mcm ada 'benda' memerhatikan anda/kamu/kita?

ok, sy kadang2 ada..rasa mcm takut tibe2..huh..
so sy tukar mindset..
what if 'bende' itu ialah Allah.

hehe..terus jd semangat nk buat baik. insyaAllah.

p/s: dlm mode menulis ssc. sorang2. malam2. di kawasan yg x berapa terang.

to be continued...

lately..i can't seem to sleep at night..maybe it's the jetlag. maybe it's the flu. tp mcm agak lama. dah seminggu.

and another thing. i have to rewrite my ssc. which is still in progress. so i'm hiding in my cacoon hoping to finish up my work in time before the deadline.

i came back from Mekah recently. this is not meant to brag, but it was so beautiful. the kaabah. i cried. makcik sebelah had to calm me down. very motherly. i think she's from turkey. from the way she wears her tudung. we didn't say a word. but i think she understood.

i prayed to Allah to help me pass my ssc. but most importantly, i prayed for Him to give what's best for me. so i'm quite sad. sad that i had to rewrite my ssc. but i'm not mad. i can't be. i love Allah too much. when we love someone we always think of the good things. so i'm sure Allah is trying to teach me something. maybe i'd find out soon.

please pray to Allah for me. for many things. right now, probably for my ssc. :)

of walking

sedang peluh masih terlekat di badan, inginku berkongsi sebuah perasaan. huhu. tibe2 blank.

baiklah begini ceritanya..

Alhamdulillah, it is a wonderful morning in the beautiful land of Bristol. indeed it is bright and sunny and hot. as I was walking down the hills of Bristol to deliver the sushis, i realised that i had forgotten something important. my mind suddenly froze in the midst of the extremely hot weather...

i forgotten doa keluar rumah.
"bismillahi tawakkaltu alAllah la haula wa la quwwata illa billah"

immediately after reading it, i felt light, like all the stares and the cars and the big bulky men walking past me aren't at all of any fright.

hehe. this is probably like a drama queen moment. but i understood today that reciting the doa is not only about how well we remember the words and having the perfect pronunciation and all. it is also about the ruh of the doa...wooo mcm scary je. for instance, the ruh that should be present with this doa should be of tawakkal to Allah. mcm tawakkal burung that my mak usrah selalu sebut2. so it means that whatever happens to us that is beyond our control is under Allah's power and we should learn to be redha with it.

i think we usually underestimate the power of small small things we do. the thing is, small things are not at all small if they are inserted with a huge ruh! just like us, Asians, we're small but our aspirations of becoming ____________(fill in the blanks yourself) is not at all small. and just like the Palestinian kids who keeps throwing rocks at the Israeli tanks, their act of throwing stones might well be seen as something small but actually their ruh for doing it tersangat lah besar.

probably that's why Allah says org yg mati syahid sebenarnya tidak mati, tetapi hidup..jiwa mereka hidup..

dan kita pun same..boleh hidupkan jiwa..kalau kita hidup utk mati..wooo scary..which translated to a more subtle way would be hidup utk Allah dan mati utk hidup..insyaAllah.

yours truly,
NMJ

bismillah.

have you heard the old tale of the naked prince? apparently the theory of evolution is just that. interesting. such a grand theory but not many can or more precisely would be, willing to dispute.

grand of course, is not necessarily true.

one of the reasons why i luuuurrve traveling. forces me to read. Evolution Deceit by Harun Yahya.

my new boyfreyyynd..

after years of containing my infatuation towards babies, here goes..the latest picture of aqil rafiq..a.k.a peanuts

of an amygdala

salam.
greetings fellow minions. huhuhaha
Alhamdulillah the 3-days 2-nights adventure with my weird and happy housemates has come to a safe ending in our home in Bristol.

the trip in detail is not exactly of great importance, but the feelings and lessons experienced is of course, never short of noting down.

first of, was a scene from the Lion King theater in London. Simba now grown up and living in the wild was searching for something..something strange and powerful, something more than the carefree life the jungle had to offer..something even he could not entirely understand. and alas, after a few encounters with Nala, his father, and the funny-looking yellow bottomed singing monkey, he was able to muster his courage to return to Pride Rock and take his place as the King of Pride Valley.

well, why did i particularly enjoy this scene? haha, apart from all the emotions that were playing around while watching the props and actors come to life, i thought this act was very moving to me, particularly as a Muslim. the journey Simba had to go through to find his place in this world was never easy. and so it is the same with us. as we live our lives trying to make sense of living, of our role in life, of the good and evil, of our past experiences, of our Creator, we too will fumble, will get confused, afraid and outraged with uncertainty, knowing that by default we are created for something bigger than what our normal typical students life is. as Simba was destined to be the King, so are we.
didn't Allah say that humans were created to devote themselves to Allah and be khalifah's on this world?

i think every person was born with greatness. greatness for one may be regarded differently from another. nevertheless they are still good qualities that are valuable in a person. and insyaAllah, if we keep trying to better ourselves, keeping our minds open and our hearts close to Allah, He will help us in fulfilling our roles as kings. the king of our own actions (nafsu), before becoming the king and khalifah of mankind. insyaAllah.

peace out y'alls, have to catch up on my nights sleep! ^.^ wee kepoyoan lah

Flotilla

ah. sakit. sakitnya hati yang x terhingga. more than that, i'm furious!!! please click on the following link. (the latest is 20 people killed)

http://www.youtube.com/user/AlJazeeraEnglish#p/u/1/xFEBbDkyrqQ

although i've been massively side tracked from my studying to the feeling of wanting to stay in front of my laptop searching for the latest updates, we too, have our own duties to fulfill.
They are carrying out their's as best as possible. with Allah's blessing, the one's that people may think are unlucky (to die) are actually living the best lives possible in Akhirah insyaAllah.
so please my dear, do yours as well.
what's done is done. and what will be is still partly in our hands, the rest is up to Him. i'm talking in codes here. primarily referring to my exam this Friday but not to forget about the bigger picture of our ummah! this is just the beginning. so, berusaha please, Lillahita'ala.
may Allah be pleased with us, insyaAllah.
Allah, please guide the flotilla through or help them with what ever way You may, please give them the best possible outcome insyaAllah. Amin.

*may 'the murderers' burn in hell! <- okay, please pardon the vulgarity.

what would be more constructive instead is to make dua for the safety of the flotilla members and everyone involved in this campaign. and ummat Islam in general. Jom Doa! Amin!! wslm.

bismillahirrahim

hihi. looks like a catterpillar..so small~

After 8 months and 2 weeks in als' womb, Peanuts has finally made it through. Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah for this bundle of joy.

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Peliharalah dirimu dan keluargamu dari api neraka yang bahan bakarnya adalah manusia dan batu; penjaganya malaikat2 yang kasar, dan keras, yang tidak durhaka kpd Allah terhadap apa yang dia perintahkan kpd mereka & selalu mengerjakan apa yang diperintahkan" (at-Tahrim: 6)

insyaAllah, let's remind each other, that in bringing ourselves and our loved ones closer to Allah, we should always treat them dearly, with care and good manners and also with hikmah. fulfilling their haq as just as possible insyaAllah.

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Sesungguhnya di antara istri-istrimu dan anak-anakmu ada yg menjadi musuh (menjerumuskan utk melakukan perbuatan2 yg tidak dibenarkan oleh agama), maka berhati-hatilah kamu terhadap mereka; dan jika kamu maafkan dan kamu santuni serta ampuni (mereka), maka sungguh, Allah Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang." (at-Taghabun: 14)

can't wait to go back for Summer break to see peanuts, insyaAllah. (aaaa~ my silent scream inside) ^_^

p/s: yaAllah, please help my mak usrah (as old as the term may sound, age wise, she's not that old). i hope she's coping well. berkatilah masanya dan amalnya, permudahkanlah examnya, panjangkanlah attention span utknya and kuatkanlah tubuh badannya so she can work out her plans. Amin...

bismillah.

just a short one before i'm off to class.
there are 3 things that I feel is a very worthy investment ever since i came to Bristol.

1. my sleeping bag (GBP 9)
2. my squash racket (GBP 10)
3. time that's filled with remembering Allah. (priceless)

let's get our momentum going and not waste our time today. insyaAllah.

bismillah.

i have issues. if only that could be my escape line for situations when i feel down and depressed. so when other people hear how complex-minded this certain biological life form is, they will leave me alone and not ask questions. if only...

but Allah equipped us with the physical, spiritual and mental capacities for us to change the situation into a better one, to think of ways to overcome the problems and to fight against the forces of evil. (hehe mcm star wars je, dramaticnye?) but truly, when our emotions are swayed towards the side of us that is totally unbearable, that is pessimistic and overtly intolerable (either by our own self or others), aren't those just signs of shaiton working their 'magic' on you?

while there might not be an obvious reason why we sometimes do get depressed, especially when we were in a perfectly stable condition before (in terms of imaan or ibadah or emotional state), it is actually Allah's way of reminding us of his powers. He, the Exhalted, the Most Powerful of all, can do whatever He wants whenever He wants to us, wherever we are. Making us experience, from the highest of the highs to the lowest of the lows.

Setting a reminder for us that if we become better people, if we succeed in life, if we are happy and manage to attain whatever we desire in life, it isn't because of our effort alone. and i repeat, it isn't because of us alone. there is indeed a greater power that determines our outcome. (paranoid? hehe.) yes, and that greater power that allows all things to happen is Allah's will.

so actually feeling low and depressed (though is not recommended), does help to keep our niat and iman in check. so hopefully we wouldn't become egocentric people that thinks the vast spherical far and wide world that we live in revolves around us alone. hihi

just to share an Ayat,
"Jika Allah menolong kamu mencapai kemenangan, maka tidak ada sesiapa pun yang akan dapat mengalahkan kamu. (Ali-Imran:160)

maka sayang-sayang sekalian, translated to, well my dears, the way out of this misery is indeed to correct our relationship with the King of Hearts. haha. of course Allah.

insyaAllah. mari beramal. dan tidak depressed. certainly a reminder for me. ^.^

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah.
diberi kesempatan menjadi kutu embun.

I feel that my tulang belulang is falling off.
but they make me smile.
actually, You, made me smile.

Thank you Allah. ^.^

It's only for You.

i'd like to cut my heart out
and place it gently in a beautiful box
with sparkles and colourful decors
and a lid attached on top.

and there, my heart would lie
calm and peaceful it shall be
beating softly in a pleasant rhythm
waiting for the moment,
for it to be unraveled.

I wrap the box over again,
with shiny strands of red ribbon,
hoping to show my affection,
also serving as a protection,
from all the wonderful temporary attractions.

and constantly I pray, I pray and I pray,
so the box will remain hard and strong,
to combat the abounding tools of the thieves,
secluding it from the whispers of 'shaitoooon'.

as I find my way to His door,
using His written map as a guide,
I pray that my small gift would be accepted,
by Him, the most Loving of all,
Allah, my one and only Lord.

Amin.



p/s: ya Muqallibal Qulub, thabits qulubana ala dinik, wa ala thoatik.

Allah..
di saat stress..kita menyebut..Allah..
bila dah habis stress pun kita menyebut..Allah..

Allah..
kerana daripada Allah segalanya datang
dan kepada-Nyalah kita akan kembali..
innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun..

Allah..
segalanya untuk Allah insyaAllah..
bila penat..ingat Allah..
bila senang pun ingat Allah..

Allah..
semalam baca psl Hadith 4.
oh, sungguh takut.

bismillah

assalamualykum ya asdiqai,
kaifa halukum? bikhair? Alhamdulillah.
maza fa'altukum al-aan?

ok. that's it. better stop before i ruin it further. it's quite dissapointing to see what has become of my Arabic. to think that one time ust zamri told me to write to him to tell him how far i've come with learning Arabic after he moved to somewhere Utagha. al-ilmu bila amalin kassyajaratu bila thamarin. from one perspective, since I have been neglecting my Arabic for how many years now, i cannot reap the benefits from it. so who's to blame? sobs..have to start asking Adah to teach me more Arabic. heh.

okay, let's stop with this self loathing and move on to another topic. wee~ had a chat with mama. haha. hm. always is a relief to pour out my feelings to 'the mom'. hoho. so i told her i might need to go out a bit this summer hols. she laughed and told me that's fine. which was a surrrrrprise..since i'm supposed to take care of peanut when he arrives on earth insyaAllah. but well, she did say to balance my time at home as well.

so now, with all this prospect of a somewhat clear future ahead, if you get what i mean, i'm wondering have i prepared myself enough?

ah~ right now i might need to pay someone to point some kind of dangerous equipment at me to force me to study. sorry no points if you've guessed it correctly. yes, my exams is in 2 days time and i'm finding reasons not to put my head in the books thus the neverending ramblings.

ya Allah please forgive this servant of Yours who rambles a lot in times of distress. please make me among those who have loooooooonggg attention spans to study. and also among those who always remembers You and strives for Your blessings. insyaAllah Amin.

please. do not change your thoughts on me. yes. i still do want to become a doctor and design my own camp site.

ok. break time over.


p/s: well actually, having some sharp object pointing towards them is exactly what the Palestinians are going through. may Allah give them strength and might it be our motivation to strive harder, insyaAllah.

teringin jd budak kampung. mmg budak kg pun. Kampung Bangi. kawasan yg dah x berapa kg kot skrg. perubahan oh.

kawasan dah berubah, maka, orangnya mcm mana pula?

x perlu baca.

baik. cukup dengan homesick. mari berusaha! :D

p/s: blog ni semakin personal. x suka. tp malas nak hand write dlm diary. heh.

life is not as easy as flying on an aeroplane.
infact, living is flying the aeroplane itself. with the ups and downs. the smiles and frowns. the trials and tribulations. the pleasures and satisfactions.

and I love you. I love you for trying. because when you try, you're giving me hope as well.
:D

so don't be afraid to fly.
but don't forget to prepare your fuel as well. because the flight is long, and you can't risk being out of oil. or else the plane won't move. worse, it might dip down and crash.
and you won't be able to reach your destination. because you were too brash.

Nauzubillah min zalik.

so don't forget to strap on your seat belts and fasten them tight. and make sure that your co pilot is also at sight. ensuring that the other passengers feel safe. by creating a big smile and giving them a wave.
because Allah made us to live with each other. to love one another. when there's turbulence to calm them down. and if there's danger ahead, to never leave them behind.


p/s: cuba utk memahami kehalusan jiwa manusia. which i am still failing. sobs.

A confession

I'm finally in love!!!

In love..
with this path
and the people in it.

yaAllah please make me among those who are not only hoping and dreaming but working till my last drop of blood.

oh Allah. there is no strength other than what you have provided us. Please guide us through. Amin ya Rabb.

Thoughts of interest

bismillah.

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.

okay, while waiting to get my dinner outside I might as well just write some things that was running through my mind in the shower.

when I was small. I wanted to become a librarian. then i wanted to become a cashier. why, because of the cash machine they used seems very fascinating to me. the noise from the buttons were so tempting that i was em, okay, so maybe what I really wanted wasn't that clear yet. of course, this was when I was 7 years? hm..so long that I can't remember.

then I was a bit grown up. and so I wanted to become an MD because of the humanitarian and the satisfaction from the job and the fact that it serves as a reminder for death and all sorts of nikmat that you have been gifted with blablabla....

then I came to love arts. and I was undecided whether to become an interior designer or MD. so I had the ambition to open an arts shop next to my own clinic. heheh.

so now, i might leave that ambition aside since I already have a new one.

I want to open and design my own camp site!!!! so nak buat program byk2 pun senang. and of course more convenient since it can be tailored to our own needs. providing a more Islamic setting. a proper ablution area so that the toilet floors won't be all muddy and flooded with water. a proper 'tirai' in the middle so that the hall won't look so much like a refugee camp with all the cloths hanging on a single line, using hair clips as pegs. heheh though it is amusing and sometimes funny to see. it shows so much. that more is required from us. this is not enough and we shouldn't be satisfied with this yet.

so starting with myself, silalah belajar bersungguh sedikit. to get the degree and get a job first get some money. hokeyy?
as they say, money moves the world around. <- westerners la, we believe in Allah of course.
p/s: and this camp site would probably be not so far from my clinic. heheh which i would like to design too if possible. >.< insyaAllah

Astaghrifullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah.

(Post SC)

baiklah. saya rindu yang bertudung purple itu. yang selalu bawa kami ice skating. yang kata jd lone ranger tu xpe. yg xnak org cina je pandai ice skating dan melukis. yg semakin hari semakin tua. 0_o

semoga Allah membalas jasanya, meredhainya, memeliharanya dan memanjangkan usianya dlm iman dan amal. Amin.

perhatian: ini zaman muda remaja. (2005 kot) sila jgn ketawa.

"sila buat sesuatu yang bermanfaat kalau tidak jgn online plis!" berkata Nahdiya (bukan Nadhiya) kepada dirinya.

Hal ini menampakkan perasaannya yang agak kecewa dan juga marah dengan sikapnya yang kurang berdisiplin dan komited terhadap courseworknya.

sila perbaiki dan teruskan usahanya! terima kasih.

*testing the internet* (winks)

(caught GBK-handed in Cabot)

Since a picture is worth a thousand words,
so the whole day should be worth a thousand Alhamdulillah's.

precious lesson today: Tawakkal tu 'alAllah! (setelah berusaha/di samping berusaha)

lights off! nights. salam.

bismillah

start of easter break.

there's a few things going through my head.
the past few weeks have been...urm..what shall we say, draining? both mentally and emotionally. huhu. and physically of course.

mashaAllah. the test of life. the test of being a Muslim. or shall i be more ambitious and say a Mukmin. the test of entering the realm of the unknown. the realm where you can never assume the worse and never be dry of challenge. heheh. the test of being a da'ie. *setakat ini sahaja. takut utk menyebut the M word.

which i can assure you that I am still trying and failing and trying again and failing. but at times, it isn't all that bad. to think of it as a learning process, we are bound to fail. (especially for me, failing at responding well to my environment when i'm stressed. for being unreasonable. I so need to work on that). to take the mistakes and turn them into valuable lessons. to learn from them. (and i repeat. to learn from them)

when i think about it, Allah's plan is always the best. everytime I ponder retrospectively on His design, I fall in love with Him over again. the love story that we hope will always be alive with overwhelming moments and fresh encounters. unbreakable ties to supply us strength, to better ourselves as well as our lives. which insyaAllah we pray will lead us to the destination we are longing for. Jannah.

Tarbiyyah. Tarbiyyah. Tarbiyyah. a word that has not been a popular choice of mine till recently. when i understood. when I found the practicality of it. when I fully accepted it.

Bristol, a place I chose for superficial reasons, for being vibrant of culture and scarce of my own people. For wanting to seek challenge. A challenge, though might not be what I had in mind, I am certain it is the best learning experience. His plan for me.


SubhanAllah. You never seize to impress!




*eh. break kejap. had to use the photocopy machine.

and so, I hope insyaAllah this Easter break won't be just peaceful days with nothing to do but may it be filled with increased Imaan and knowledge, stronger relationships, more self improvement and wonderful photos. heheh :p doakan ye.

orang kata la kan, 'gajah kat bawah mata tak nampak, semut nuuun jauh kat ujung sana boleh pula nampak'. huhu

begitula saya baru-baru ni. kasih sayang orang-orang kat Malaysia punya la rasa xde tandingan. huhuh. sebenarnya kasih sayang orang-orang kat sini pun sama hebatnya. Alhamdulillah. :D semuanya kurniaan Allah jugak. nikmat sementara Allah bagi rasa. Alhamdulillah.

kalau dah rasa kasih sayang dengan manusia pun boleh meleleh air mata. kasih sayang Allah betapalah hebatnya lagi tak terhingga kan? patutnya lebih-lebihla air mata kita mengalir kan?

Allah jaga segala-galanya tentang kita, daripada dunia kandungan ibu lagi, Allah jaga kesihatan ibu yang sedang mengandung, sehingga kita dah besar dan mampu merasa hidup sementara di dunia ini, yang penuh dengan suka dukanya. nikmat Allah beri. MashaAllah.

sampaikan kita juga mampu untuk mencurahkan kasih sayang kepada orang lain keranaNya insyaAllah sebagaimana Allah membenarkan kita merasai kasih sayang daripada ibu bapa dan orang sekeliling kita dari kecik lagi.

daripada Hadith 13,

On the authority of Anas bin Malik, the servant of the messenger of Allah, that the prophet said :"None of you [truely] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself."

Related by Bukhari and Muslim

p/s: Dr G. kata kita evolve from 4 legged animal, Dr R. kata kita evolve daripada fish. hehe. kesian kat fishes and 4 legged animals yang belum evolve jadi manusia lagi. mungkin lambat sikit growth mereka?

i miss them. i miss hanging out with them. while they are still misses.

fenin fenin lalat..

salam.

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah.

can i tell you a bit about my day? no..maybe..probably? nevermind..hehe i'm still gonna tell..:)
this morning i had a 9 to 1 lecture. played some squash. showered. had some lunch. went to library. picked up my reserved book from the issue desk. found a comfortable and secluded cubicle. checked my exam results. flipped through the book a bit. checked up on some stuff. and now, i'm typing this blog entry. yes. definately a distraction from doing my work.

do you want to know something else? no..maybe..probably? nevermind, i'm still gonna tell. i just noticed somehow lately i seem to be stripped off from my feelings. yes. i am still human. yes. i can still do my work, i can read, write and type. but the feelings of sad, annoyed, angry etc etc doesn't seem to be occurring as often anymore. i work, work, work and fall asleep. eat. drink. hang out with friends. seeking Islamic knowledge, doing my SSC. and so the days go by with almost the same routine. well, come to think of it I might be a bit more busier than usual. hence, no time for me to be thinking about my own flood of feelings which I am not really sure whether it's good or bad. what do you think?

anyway, because of the lack of attention i've been giving myself, this entry is meant to be my therapeutic time. (which honestly sounds a bit pathetic..huahua) oh well. as long as I'm happy. haha not to sound too vain but then our body is also our amanah to take care of because it is not ours pun in the first place. hehe. thus we shouldn't also neglect our emotional health (as well as the spiritual health lg la). the point of this entry being that I need to swim in my own emotions to be able to understand myself better and insyaAllah help others in this path too. i don't want to feel forced but i want to also enjoy myself in enduring all the aches and pains life or this path has to offer. which in another context means what Allah is teaching me to become. just makes me appreciate Allah more seeing that our feelings is also nikmat from Allah be it best or not.

this entry has no conclusion. and no ayat Quran to relate to since I am no hafizah and my Quran is not currently with me at the moment. what a shame.....(for both parts).



p/s: last week called and told mama. mama ok je. mama kata, "selalunya Allah akan permudahkan" lega. Alhamdulillah. :D

bismillah.

i just remembered. a few years back mama said she likes seeing ladies wearing long jubahs, long clothes and all the other Busana Muslimah shall we say. so she asked me, "Angah, don't you want to try wearing clothes like them..you will look very sweet in them." haha. yes, this my crude translation from Malay.

anyway, i was in form 3 or 4. and it is told that the teenage years are the period of exploration, self discovery, rebels and hardheadedness. though the level of each encounters may vary from one individual to another, it is still apparent in everyone. so i said, (not realizing at that time that I was being a 'typical' teenager) "mama, maybe i don't think so..they're already 20 plus now, so it suits them wearing clothes like that because it's appropriate for their age. i'm only in form 3..maybe later..when i'm in uni i'll wear clothes like that." shrugging off the idea.

mama just smiled, maybe a bit amused of my answer.

that was that. so now, i'm 22 years worth of age. aaaa! and yes I am also in uni. and guess what?
i'm starting to wear these long2 clothes and jubahs..

and surprisingly enough, it isn't because of the promise i had told mama a long time ago. and i'm not even sure if mama still remembers but it's insyaAllah due to my own desire to dress according to the Islamic dress code and for His pleasure.

Although my reply to mama has never since occurred in my mind. i think that in some way, Allah has greatly helped me to keep my promise. and it only shows, if we take care of our relationship with Allah. Allah will take care of the rest, insyAllah. hehe :D and now it's amusing to both of us.



p/s: insignificant things that cross my mind tatkala hujan sedang turun di luar library. menunggu hujan reda supaya boleh cari lunch. perut sudah berkeroncong dan otak sudah pening memikirkan tentang otak. heheh. serves me right for choosing SSC topic psl otak?

zaman silam

saya masih ingat,
dulu-dulu waktu sekolah rendah, saya sangat jelous dengan ahli Syabab. sebab saya rasa aktiviti mereka best. pergi berkhemah la. berkawad la. bljr cara2 nak hidupkan api la. sy rasa aktiviti mereka sgt adventurous dan sgt best.
tp saya ahli Fatayat..kalau Fatayat, kitorang belajar masak, belajar nasyid, belajar menjahit..erm..okay, hehe snanye saya suke je..tp sy sukakan aktiviti-aktiviti outdoor jugeee..

waktu tu, saya tak faham lagi maksud Syabab ngan Fatayat tu. hehe.
tp bila dah faham, saya rasa Fatayat tu lagi hebat :D (walaupun aktiviti mereka agak keperempuanan..mungkin utk disesuaikan buat para Banat..hehe) sebab sebenarnya, Fatayat tu daripada perkataan Fityah yang bermaksud pemuda. mungkin Syabab dan Fatayat kedua-duanya bermaksud pemuda..tp Fatayat lebih muda drp Syabab..kiranya para pemuda dlm 10 hingga 12 tahun gitu..

maka, skrg saya rasa lebih istimewa termasuk dalam ahli Fatayat..walaupun dalam usia mereka yang masih muda belia namun himmah mereka sangat tinggi..sgt menakjubkan bukan..kenapa? sbb mereka lah Fityah al-Kahfi. para pemuda yang sanggup meninggalkan segalanya untuk mempertahankan Iman mereka. dan disebutkan Allah dalam ayat 13, surah al-Kahfi:

"Kami ceritakan kepada kamu Muhammad kisah mereka dengan sebenarnya. Sesungguhnya mereka adalah pemuda-pemuda yang beriman kepada Tuhan mereka, dan Kami tambahkan petunjuk kepada mereka."


hebat..sangat hebat..mampukah saya, anda, kita jadi seperti mereka? errmm......
(hurmm..fikir blk..maybe saya da terlebih age limit nak jadi Fityah ;p )
jom berusehe!

p/s: kenapa entry ni ditulis? sbb skrg saya rs mcm agak kurang bersemangat utk ke clinical tomorrow. curi sket semangat pemuda Kahfi.. baiklah. teh susu terlebih manis sila work your magic and keep me awake.

salam.

haritu birthday saya. saya sedih kejap. sebab bila saya fikir, sepanjang 21 tahun saya kat dunia ni, saya rasa tak ada apa2 saya buat yang layak untuk masuk syurga. saya sedih. saya dah tua. saya cakap kat mama, "mama, kalau Angah mati, Angah tak rasa dah capai apa2, nak tinggalkan apa2 pun x tahu."

mama bila dengar saya cakap saya da tua, dia kata dia lagi sedih..sebab dia lagi tua..hehe 0_o
mama kata, jgn putus asa..hehe. okay, snanye belum pun putus asa. dah makin tua, kerja pun kene lebih mantap. insyaAllah :D

oh ye, haritu mereka poskan kad.



*kat depan card tu ialah Abigail and Amelia Gabble (from Aristocats) menurut kata Dids. thank you!.


...."Ya Tuhanku, berilah aku petunjuk agar aku dapat mensyukuri nikmat-Mu yang telah Engkau limpahkan kepadaku dan kepada kedua orang tuaku, dan agar aku dapat berbuat kebajikan yang Engkau ridai, dan berilah aku kebaikan yang akan mengalir sampai kepada anak cucuku. Sungguh aku bertaubat kepada Engkau, dan sungguh aku termasuk orang Muslim."

(Al-Ahqaf: 15)

bismillah.

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah

ayaaat of the day:

Dia Allah berfirman: "Berapa tahun lamanya kamu tinggal di Bumi?"
Mereka menjawab: "Kami tinggal (di bumi) sehari atau setengah hari, maka tanyakanlah kepada mereka yang menghitung."
Dia Allah berfirman, "Kamu tinggal di bumi hanya sebentar saja, jika kamu benar-benar mengetahui."

"Maka apakah kamu mengira bahwa Kami menciptakan kamu main-main (tanpa ada maksud) dan bahawa kamu tidak akan dikembalikan kepada Kami?"

(Al-Mukminun: 112 - 115)

in search of motivation.

enough with sympathizing and weeping.

Ruhban fil Lail wa Fursan fin Nahar!

ayuh.


p/s: medschool still deciding whether we'll have exams tomorrow or rescheduled for later due to heavy snow. 0_o

dahla xde facebook. pastu selalu je x on ym. pastu blk summer pun kejap je. saje je xnak spend time ngan kita.
dahla bljr kt US, jauh je. pastu dtg UK pun time kita kat Malaysia lg.
dahla nak drive g sunway piramid pun xtau jalan. pastu gune SatNav.
dahla nak g swimming da pakai baju siap2 dari rumah. comel je. pastu masih guna SatNav lagi walaupun tempat tu kat putrajaya je. dekat je.
dahla borang keselamatan n borang awk nak fly kita yang isikan. pastu kata sebab tulisan kita lawa. tapi tulisan awak pun sama.
dahla waktu form 2 suka gelak kat lawak Sakuragi. hehe walaupun dia mmg lawak. pastu kata Mitsui x hensem. pastu bagi kita pinjam the whole series of Slam Dunk.
dahla kalau marah pun boleh senyum lagi.
dahla selalu panggil kita NED. walaupun dah 9 tahun kita cuba betulkan. ke awk nak cakap kita ni Nerd senanye?
dahla tudung makin labuh.
dahla kalau kita pakai baju-baju pendek awk cakap,

"em Ned, kita rase baju awak mcm kecik sket la".

dahla kita perasan awak macam rasa bersalah sebab takut kita terasa, tapi awak cakap jugak. pastu kita buat-buat muka blur. hehe
pastu ingat kan kita paham la awk ckp camtu sebab awk sayang kat kita?


memang pun. hehe. tq Zed. and u know what, sebab tu kita sayang sgt kat awak. ;D

yaAllah, aku bersyukur dikurniakan sahabat sepertinya.
yaAllah berkatilah hidup sahabatku & permudahkanlah urusan final yearnya. insyaAllah. Amin.


do you realize that i'm missing you? :)

- a dedication to Miss ZDZ, though you won't be reading this. happy 22nd birthday, 18th jan.

okay, okay just a quick one before i go on and bury my head in the books, insyaAllah. ;)


yesterday a long time friend buzzed me at ym. it was a nice chat. and so the following was a bit of it:

bla..bla..bla..

nad: i guess when it comes to dealing with people and matters of the heart, what we can do is pray a lot to Allah. Allah juga yang pegang hati-hati kita.

friend: Dia (Allah) pegang segala-galanya kot.

(me: gulps and thinks: yeah, true true..)

p/s: 7.50 a.m.- selak curtain. with hopes of nak g jogging. tpi...jalan frost..xpela. esok2 lah.